YoU weRe mY evErYtHinG...NoT anYmoRe

2005年8月17日星期三 --

昨天忘了写，不好意思哦~

昨天好累，好累哦！所以就没写咯~不好意思。。。I doubt anybody actually writes their blog everyday... 呵呵~ ？I am so extra mah~ No lah...

anyway, yesterday i went to school feeling ok. then, i experienced cramps... so, I wasn't even standing during flag raising. i sat down on the ground later. and then, i could sense elaine, yirong and eunice fanning me rapidly. then, i heard mr lim's voice "why never come and tell me?" -.-" er- ok, i shall not further comment. anyway, he was giving me so many suggestions, go sick bay lah, sit by the sides lah, go in front because it's very stuffy here... ... after i refused to go to the sick bay or the canteen, he said i should get out of the sun because i'm in the sun. so, i was steered to up the stairs and to this area where there's a chair there and i sat there. eunice was telling him that i didn't eat my breakfast. and he said he was going to the general office. Ah?! 啊？！天啊！and then, eunice and yirong were accompanying me. i saw mr lim going to the office then climbing up the stairs. the clerk came and gave me a cup of milo in a styrofoam cup... damaging the environment.. haiz... people these days... don't they know the ozone layer is like- depleting? global warming is SO serious! anyway, she gave me a fork as a stirrer... -.-" eh? how come i remember arh? hm... then, eunice left to go to lab lesson. speaking of which, i missed a really important chem lesson. i ought to go ask mr leow for a make-up practical. because i'm going to fail chem horribly by the looks of it... anyway... then, mr lim came down with a cup of milo(rather big cup, actually) and biscuits. he saw the cup in my hands and was like- trying to force yirong to drink it, but yirong was so clever, she was like "oh, i ate breakfast already" and he was saying "oh... then, afterwards u help me to wash and put back in the staff lounge on the 3rd floor" er- deng... i was trying not to laugh. haha~ and he was saying he needed to go invigilate for the normal acad sec 4 classes so he went off after telling me that i can go home and telling me all the things about what i ought to do if i want to go home... and i wasn't even listening because i didn't even want to go home in the first place... anyway, what do we have for a sick bay? a pathetic heritage room.. ops... i'm going to be killed.

anyway, after yesterday, i feel that... mr lim is a nice person. so i ought to be more obedient and also try harder for maths... in which, actually, i am already trying hard but i just can't get more than a just pass...haiz... anyway, tomorrow there's this a maths functions test. and it's going to be counted. i had so much difficulty passing and now there's another test which concentrates on what i'm bad at... great! and it's supposed to HELP me...! haiz... i will be studying after i finish typing... and sleeping.. haha~ anyway, yar... and i spent yesterday trying to do my chem worksheet. and i even have problems with the chemical and ionic equation! haiz... so pathetic, huh? ='( cry... cry... 怎么办？and i asked hari and got myself all confused though i know he's had 1 year more of schooling than me and his chem is like- A1 BUT i still don't understand despite his continuous effort to enlighten this particularly thick and dense person here... so, i gave up eventually. and i actually spent 2 hours cracking my head over the 2 worksheets. and i have not even attempted to do the theory workbook. in which i'm sure i won't know how to do... haiz...

yar... so, anyway, yesterday i was in a very bad mood because choir was like crap... miss lim was SO fuming mad... she said our sound is bad, we can't blend, our attendance is bad, we have very little people, we can't even do simple warm-ups. ok, basically, everything sucked. and she was very very disappointed in us. she was telling us that we are too slack and we ought to buck up. she said that our sec 1s are the worst of all her choirs... and i personally agree... because they are simply inaudible. and they don't dare to sing. (honestly, who dares to sing when she's so angry?) and she was mad with the alto seniors because we didn't teach the sec 1s well.. she said that it's no use that we are good but our sec 1s can't sing. she was most furious with the sops. they couldn't blend, they were airy and their sound was horrible. some were correct some were singing incorrectly. she wants us to train up the sec 1s or she's leaving. and if we continue this type of pathetic standard, we can forget about going overseas for the competition next year in june. i really want to go... but o levels... whatever it is, i'm going. because it's during the holidays... that is, i'm going if miss lim decides to bring us there... but looking at it, if we don't pull up our socks, we're dead... not only won't we be able to leave the country for the first time in anderson choir history, but miss lim and mr yong will most probably be leaving. i don't know what to do. she's furious with the new commitee... thank god i'm not in there... anyway, i feel that i haven't been doing enough. if i were that confident of my singing, i would drill the sec 1s but... i'm not the sectional leader and i'm not qualified to do that. the sec 1s just won't open their mouth to sing! aaaarrrrgggghhhhh! anyway, we have sectionals on friday... expected huh? because we sounded totally like crap on both monday and tuesday. miss lim is extremely angry with us. and i'll say we deserve it. we have really been too slack. the thing i can't stand is her saying that we cannot survive without the sec 4s... after our seniors left. it's not TRUE. the seniors are good, yes... she kept saying that we're now a bronze choir. ok, there was even once when she said we are a participation choir. she was scolding us. how our seniors worked so hard to get us that gold, which was supposed to be a gold with honours... and how we just let choir die at our hands. it's not true. choir is not going to die. i don't believe that we cannot match up to our previous standard. sure, the basses are not as strong, the tenors do not concentrate as much but they're actually good. the sops... i'm sure ee ching can do something about them... the thing is, she wasn't there for these 2 practises in which the sops were like, practically scolded the most. anyway, altos are ok, except that according to miss lim, we sing without brains. which ... is really bad...and our voice is sometimes a little too chesty. she kept asking for a ringing tone and she seems contented with our sound. but she still thinks our sound is horrible as a choir. this is really, really, really bad... we can't possibly just leave it as it is. i wish i could make a difference...

anyway, enough about choir... i really have no idea what to do now choir is facing this crisis. whatever it is, today was normal too.. oh, i got back e maths paper, 29 out of 40... it's a A2... i dropped a grade... haiz... guess i shouldn't be complaining. but 1 more mark and i have secured an A1... and i lost a lot of marks due to careless mistakes and 1 for the line of the graph that i drew being too thick... how terribly ironic... haiz... my A1... just flew away... anyway, i should be glad, wei siang is the highest in class and he's 31. so... yar... i should be happy...

i got back chinese today and i'm totally upset with myself. because i got 27/40. which is a B3. a B3 for chinese! a B3...! a B3... ... ... oh my gosh... ok, i shall try not to think about it anymore.... ='( 3。。。我怎么对得起我的父母，祖宗八代？*伤心欲绝状* 哭ing... oh well.... and i have a bad feeling i'm going to score badly for lit elect. which is terrible because i am going to flunk SS because my stand was to a certain extent... my A1 for combined humans depends on these 2 subjects... geog is not reliable at all... anyway, i made a mistake of downloading a 蔡淳佳 song that's in mp3 format, which is taking a darn long time to download compared to one of a wma format... this is horrible...! i wasted so much time in which i could have downloaded more songs! aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!! anyway, i think i'm suffering from a serious psychological problem... 我有严重的妄想症。。。怎么办？！ok, i need to get a grip over myself... it is impossible that a person like u if he asks for ur handphone number for practically no reason whatsoever. and replies ur messages instantly when u reply... hm... ok, i think i'm seriously thinking too much...我是想太多了。。。想太多了。。。

huiyi was telling me that all my entries will have that 冰山。so, to prevent her from teasing me again, i shall not refer to **** as ****... 冰山其实很适合他。。。yirong refers to him as 王八蛋。。。呵呵！天啊！我好像在幸灾乐祸。。。呵呵~anyway, i think it's funny...i'm so happily laughing over this nickname when i'm the one who sort of caused it to be created because i was still angry that time... oh! yar! yesterday, i was wishing 冰山 good luck for his o level english oral after i checked the notice board and saw that he was taking his exam yesterday... and he was like “此人已死，清明烧纸...” haha~ 呵呵~ haiz... i thought 冰山was ignoring me? 他不是跟我冷战的吗？so, i have deduced that he suffers from serious pms... oh my... if he sees this,i will die soon... it's like- he can be so nice one moment and the other so horrible, so mean,so insensitive, so 冷漠无情， so不解风情，so讨人厌，so白痴。。。

whatever it is, i downloaded the 梦在手里song huiyi told me about... and ... it's nice!　=) i'll see if i can learn it lah... she keeps changing the song she wants to sing one lah... can't stand her... then next moment when i've finally learnt the song, she will tell me... oh, i decided to change the song again... -.-" haiz...i was wondering if i should even take part next year... this year's turned out to be a disaster... i don't think i was very relaxed with 冰山looking at me... and listening... i don't know what was his opinion of my horrible performance. but he was quite angry with me when i said that i was very horrible and i shouldn't even be in choir. hm... but that was like, so long ago... ... and how come i still remember it?! ok, i'm weird...

anyway, now i can't ask 冰山any questions. because i stupidly said i won't in my fit of anger... and i'm seriously regretting it now... ok, i know i am being really silly... but anyway, he doesn't exactly answer my questions. haha~ now huiyi can't say that i'm always 文峰哥哥 here and there~ and i do NOT talk sorely about him, ok? did i just type the forbidden word? i meant, 冰山。。。 anyway, i saw 冰山walking home with 竞之学长today. i realise that i've become an expert and i can recognise him from very far away. mom was driving past RI mah~ then i was like- looking out of the window in the front seat and instantly when she turned at the traffic light, i spotted the nike bag. and i was right~ haha~ i'm so observant. anyway, he broke a school rule...his shirt was not tucked in. anyway, 向往学长is having his oral today...well, good luck to him... i heard their invigilators are from st nicholas... no wonder 冰山was so unconfident... poor thing... 好可怜哦。。。=(

ok, i shall not want to become a 重色轻友person again.. anyway, lin xiu and huiyi actually bought audrey birthday presents... i think they're er- mad... i mean, mentally challenged, to put it nicely... what the- what's the point? she's beyond cure... oh my... i do realise that huiyi will be reading this... hm... ops... whatever lah~ anyway, it's really what i think lorh... i don't think it'll work... i still cannot believe that a person can be so... .... i shall not elaborate more. i think it's true that people who look better lack something people who are not have. character.

today, 俊扬is performing 童话！！！and the girls are singing 遗失的美好。。。all my favourite songs... must watch today... and i must vote for 俊扬！junyang, i love u! =) oh my, i'm so 花心。。。哈哈~what the- i'm crapping... please ignore me here... anyway, junyang rocks!! i will be sure to vote for him~ and i'm recording today's performance to take screenshots of him... anyway, there's this really cute advertisement of him as the 主角。。。好可爱哦！he's so CUTE! anyway.... kelly, 加油！junyang, 加油！你是最，最棒的！我爱你~anyway, it's junyang's birthday today~!俊扬，祝你生日快乐！happy, happy, happy~ (goes higher and higher) happy birthday to u~ *applause* whee~ happy bdae to junyang ~

hm... i guess that's a very long entry from me... haha~ ok. bye bye~ wish me luck for e test tomorrow~ =)

16:01