Aaaahhh... Sad to leave anderson choir...

sorry so long nvr blog... been sleeping at 4am everyday except last night... I dozed off at 1am like that... as a result, din really study much english phrases and get ideas from model compo books. (".)

HaiX

so, obviously can't blog...

anyway, today waited up till 3pm in classroom doing work until chewyan came to talk to me. been ages since we last talked like that. haiX. gona miss talking to her about everything under the sun... =(

i was quite proud of myself for having finished the maths homework. have to do one chem paper tomorrow and one chem paper on sunday. Yay~ jia you!

haiX...

so difficult...

I am so going to miss choir... miss miss lim and mr yong. they didn't come lorH! so sad!!!

='(

so unfair... they were there for puay fen's batch... haha~

n we din have a party. it was sorely a ceremony. presenting gifts and giving talks. I was like, so emotional... started crying halfway. haiX

really will miss being in choir... maybe i will regret not being in choir in JC... i will feel like part of me has been lost...

haiX... but ... i should challenge myself to try sports or more outdoor stuff. although taekwondo is not exactly outdoor, i suppose it is kinDa strenuous. Ahhh.... poor me. poor me who doesn't like to exercise and move too much...

.....

i will die. that's why choir is the best! and anyway, i love choir!!!

took photos with chewyan, yindy and vernon. erR... blogger got problem... i tink i find another chance 2 post e pict of me n vernon... (".) sucky lAH! YAY! vernon is e new vice-president!!! hurray! the angel of the committee~~ MuHahA~

=)

love our darling extremely nice bass junior! YAY! basses rock! =P

he's so nice! and he wrote in the message for me that he remembers me as someone who is always smiling. hmM... how come that is so totally different from what wenfeng says... anyway, YAY~

i am a cheerful and vibrant girl~~~ ok, he din sae tat... but always smiling shud imply something like tat lah~~~

*blinks eyes innocently*

ok, i ought to be slapped for typing that...

O_O

Haha~ people are like, busy preparing for prep prelims... and here I am rushing homework... haven't started on revision AT ALL...

decided to abandon a maths n maths homework... (".) wo ye bu xiang de!!! but.. what can u do when u still have one mountain of homework?!

but tomorrow got tuition early in the morning... then must rush to take scholarship... yea! MONEY! and it's in cash form!!! YIPPEE~~~

at least that's worth my time... HaiX...

trying to write my english essays for miss heng. Kindness and a day which changed my life... frankly speaking, i duNo if it's a DAY or an EVENT which changed my life...

GOSh... how to write an essay when i'm not even sure of e title? (".) *raises an eyebrow*

haiX

....

wa! so much homework! and chem SERIOUSLY sucks... when i graduate from sec sch, i shall abstain from chem. I will never touch chem ever again... unless i'm seriously forced to. chem is such a headache. left so many questions blank loRH!

on a happier note, wenfeng is back in singapore already! missed him so much when he was away. I asked him twice on QQ when he was coming back... and he IGNORED me...

(".)

then, i sms-ed him so that when he comes back he can reply me. and yesterday i woke up and was about to go for english tuition (grammar clinic) and i saw a message saying "I'm back in singapore lo~"

of course, in chinese...

great lorh! he so li hai lorh! so HAO lah... never tell me when he coming back! so i started 'scolding' him... and he said, "I'm afraid u'll dan wu ur own xue xi"

.... ....

i think he learnt his lesson le... good lorh he! now he knows how to deal with my stubborness le lorh... his 'guai lah, mei, ting ge de hua' dun work on me so he just chose to ignore me...

Humph~ where got lidat de?!

... ...

anyway, i already learnt my lesson le...

wenfeng is really very clever... and the same tactic won't work on him twice...

(.") shall have to come up with new ways to counter attack....

haiX... enough le... better go do my essays. AIYO! what to write LAH?! -.-"

Darn the construction that's going on near my block... Darn them... They like, stop work at 5 or 5.30 pm.... I mean... What am i supposed to do in the meantime? they are making such a racket... I can't concentrate! N i don't really like to go out to do work... because i don't get anything done... anyway, i can't possibly go out when i'm preparing for o level everyday... So... it's best to get used to doing work and studying in my room at my study table...

So... I have adjusted my time... I sleep in the afternoon from 2-5pm. (morning got lessons) And then after that, i wake up and bathe and have dinner... Then, I do homework until about 3am in the morning. Then I go to bed and wake up at 7 plus. That's 7 hours of sleep...

And I suppose when u're rushing a deadline... U have no choice...

anyway, i don't even get 7 hours of sleep when school re-opens. shall be very busy with MORE homework... and trying to prepare for prep prelims...

I am quite sure i'd do rather.. BADLY

anyway, i'm wondering whether to be an LEP student... u don't have to study chinese lit in sec sch...duNo.. if i really want to go abroad to study... maybe it'd help... besides, to some extent, it helps appreciate the chinese culture more. so... yaR... so that when people talk about Tang poems i won't be like, stoning and going "HUH?! what is that?"

...

But then.... there's the problem that my chinese is... *COUGHS and clears throat*

HAiX

but the requirements are quite easy to pass. U need at least a B4 in HMT,i think... so.... I think it should be ok baH... i mean, my chinese standard has been dropping but it's not a C standard... though it used to ba an A1...(".)

haiX.. shall have t0 see baH..

anyway, TJC offers the LEP programme too. so... it doesn't really affect my decision to go TJ...

today, I took my prelim oral. And i totally screwed it up... miss heng, or rather, mrs yeo, said that I was too soft during the reading. Aaaah! i was controlling my volume... shouldn't have done that... (".) And for the picture discussion, she told me to focus more on thought, feelings and action. And don't wait for her to prompt me to say what I think will happen after the picture was taken. And talk more about the theme and elaborate. sounds as if.... I did nothing right. and she said that the conversation... was...haiX... she told me to talk about my grandparents or older relatives. but yar... i'm not close to all of them... so... that's what i stupidly told her. And she was telling me after that that i could link grandparents. and ask whether i could tell her about my friend and her grandparent and how close they are and all that. to make a linkage by myself. so... in other words... MINUS marks again. then, she asked me what I thought marriage was. I was like- HUH?!

hello.. i'm like, 15 going on 16... actually... i think i'm only a 12 year old mentally. marriage....? and i came up with very little crap and was just blabbering rubbish. Plus stammering a lot. and giving a lot of "what is this?!" expressions. she said that i had to give more examples. AAAAAAHHHHHH

and elaborate more again. like, watched from television blah blah blah or heard from other's experiences about their parents or my parents.

and she asked if it was important to have trust bewteen a married couple. and i said, yar... but some things are better left not known. and she asked me "like what?" and i just stunned there...my mind went totally BLANK

dumb, right? saying something and having absolutely NOTHING to substantiate. HaiX

anyway, bai pao zhi lian (white robe of love) can be seen on you-tube.. although there's only one episode so far... but...there's the dou yu cast in it. which means... there's ady an yi xuan, dylan kuo pin chao!!! yea! n they're acting as a couple too... erR... YAY! i mean... u watch dou yu and u'll understand why i'm so crazy for kissing scenes between ady and dylan... I MEAN... seriously... there's absolutely no kissing on the lips!!! (".) anyway, she was put into a deep sleep until they can find a cure for her illness.... she's so chio man! dylan rocks! he's so shuai! but recently like never see him much. as in he never film more idol dramas. YAY! cant wait to watch the other episodes.

I'm just kidding laH.. (".) not really...

because... did i mention that I am wondering whether to go to my 'family' chalet...Actually, i sort of thought that i shouldnt go... because... i really do homework at such a slow rate.... then... my son complained to me that he's quite upset that a lot of people pulled out..

N i changed my mind on the spot to go.

HAIX

as for the unfinished chem homework... I shall... just do the mcq lorH...HAIX sorry, miss goh...

HaiX

never mind...

really dun wana disappoint my son. he alr ke lian enough le...

zen me ban?!!!

anyway, I think someone is angry with me...nvr reply my 'liu yan'....

haiX...

hate homework... hate O levels....they're ruining my life

i just found out that u need 7 points to get into TJ... so... in other words.. i can only get 10 points and below...

OMG

i thought 11 was ok...

apparently SO not...

i'm gona DIE

... ...

darnit. my silence shen qing mi ma hasn't been uploaded yet...

what has happened?!

O_O NOTHING is going my way

sorry, PMS here...

aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

(".)

so angry...

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

haiX

shall have to spend $16 plus on escape tomorrow...

Did I mention? i got my new mp3 player already~ it's Creative MuVo VIDZ... n it's the silver one... I didn't even get the chance to choose its colour..

(".) depressing, huh? And the storage space is... *applause* 1GB... *boo-s from the crowd* YaR, i know... Isn't that unfair?! Even wenfeng has an Ipod... Oh, wait, that's not right... He's RICH... Let's see... Even... even my younger sister has a 5GB mp3 player! Life.. what can I say?

...

FINALLY got started on some work... as in, really did some work... it has come to my realisation that I can only study on my desk when there are two cute letter writing books on my table at a certain position. It's like some kind of study "zhen..." haha~ stupid, huh? dumb as it may sound, it's 100% true... I tried removing the two books... And i just sat down to begin on my work for 5 minutes and I started to get all restless and fidgety. I did what I usually do when I am sick of doing my work... Lie on my sister's bed.

And you can guess what happened next...

DUh.. I fell asleep...

stupid?

yar, i agree...

(".) HaiX... people like me... how on earth would i survive in JC?

Liting mentioned that in NJC, the courses go by so quickly that you cannot even afford to not pay attention for one tutorial. you would have missed hell of a lot of things....

Oh darnit...

*prays* hope TJC is not like that...

I have analysed wenfeng's words about TJC being very slack. And ...

seriously, I can't exactly trust the guy. For very obvious reasons...(".) *rolls eyes*

So... I went to read blogs of students currently studying in TJC... and well... hmM... is it just the people whose blogs I visited or is it that they are all obessessed about grades and studying?

*disbelieving look*

what am i getting myself into?

actually, it would make more sense to decide and then that's that... and not think so much about it...yar, unfortunately, idiots like me tend to like to think too much... =)

I was talking to my sister last night before we went to bed... I felt like i was telling a bedtime story... And the more i talked, the more high I was becoming... GoSh, i can't believe that for a period of time I wanted to just pretend i was dumb and not talk at all especially when I go out with my friends or alone. (".) That was just a stupid idea. And my sister had to shoo me to bed because she was getting tired and wanted to sleep...

We were discussing what we wanted to do with our life later. Dad is considering sending us to china after maybe, our JC education. then, going to maybe the states to do our MBA...

He says it's essential that we prove that we are proficient in chinese...

GOSH does he realise what he is saying?! I mean, i could go there and spend the hell of 2 years or something like that figuring out that this chinese term is the translation of "differentiation" or something. (".)

I mean... come on! i'm not the hardworking kind. You can dump me to live in a hostel and ... i won't study.

seriously...

i really don't get how on earth the scholars do it! O_O

I mean, don't they have a life?

Ok, that was really insulting.. Obviously, i didn't mean it that way. Hello...

It's not as if clever people don't have lives... Polly has a life. Chewyan has a life. ErR- who else? (".)

never mind...

who on earth would want to study when there are more entertaining and far more enjoyable stuff to do like, blogging or summat?

O_O

...

this is why I'm not a scholar. And I can never go to China to study.

(.")

Anyway, I am definitely doing arts stream if I go TJC... me... science?! OH HAHAHAHAHAHA

*coughs, wheezes and gasps for breath*

PLEASE... Science is so NOT my thing...

but now that you look at it, my maths sucks. My languages aren't exactly what you'd call good...(".) My humanities aren't that great either...

GOSH what can i do?!

O_O

never mind... just bear with it...

1 more year... can't i at least have another chance? I mean, afterall, i was the one who wasted one whole precious year in the first place. this is like, an attempt to get it back.

sounds dumb... to stake your future on something like this...(".)

anyway, i was telling my sister that some people... seem too perfect that it's incredibly scary... good in sports, good in studies, character wise also quite good (well, what can I say? so many people LoVe her) I'm not being jealous here. i'm envious. seriously. but... because i've never met a more perfect person... I find it extremely scary... don't you? it's as though she's good in EVERYTHING. and she's so lucky. I spent...1 and a half years. And she barely needed 1 year.

life is just so UNFAIR.

why the hell am i not a scholar? ok, i just said that i can't be a scholar because 1, i don't have the brains. Obviously, there are more reasons. 2, I don't have the independence. 3, no self-control. 4, I'm too used to having my family with me everywhere.

perhaps things would be different if i were indeed a scholar. (somehow, miraculously)

Ok, no point thinking about all these now... But, I'm bored. so let me entertain myself.

I would be the first scholar to flunk maths. haha~

i would be the first scholar to flunk chem.

ok, that's not exactly true. Since there are scholars who flunk chem. O_O

I would be the most emotional scholar. haha~ that was just crap.

I would be the laziest scholar.

I would be the dumbest scholar.

the last two are without a doubt.

Then again, if i were a scholar, I would have to be auditioned to get into choir. And miss lim wouldn't want me. O_O so I won't even be in choir in the first place. So how the hell would i ever have met him?

oh yar, all scholars know each other. at least, they know their juniors and their seniors blah blah and those in the same level as them. but then it would be different.

and it doesn't make a difference whether i come from chengdu or not. because... the greatest example would be Xiang Wang senior and Xiaoying.

SEE?!

how do they communicate... chinese lorh...

So, this sichuan language thingy shouldn't affect anything...

then why the hell am I still...

='(

yar, yar.... fine, i know... I'm so poor thing... HAIX

never mind~ it's my decision anyway.

would i really get into TJ? I really want to believe I can. but... yaR... i am complacent. i am lazy. I don't like studying. what can I say?

of course i can get into TJ!

hahahaha... *hearty laugh fades away to deadly silence*

....

..... ......

anyway, I havent seen my 'family' for a long time. so.... i'm still caught in a dilemna about whether or not to go to the chalet.

haiX

so much more homework left...O_O *cries*

Gosh... i'm so pissed...

i was watching U-tube when my annoying father came n started scolding me for watching U-tube because he was saying that the screen was so tiny... and i was so totally pissed... because it was the dumbest reason i had ever heard...

so, i continued watching n GREAT! he said... "u still want to watch after i've scolded u? fine... dont make me have to remove the modem..."

n that really nerved me... WHAT THE ****

sucky when u have a modem that's not in built...DARNIT!

aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

extremely pissed...!

what is with PARENTS?! n their annoying "i'm your parent so u should listen to me" tone...

to hell with parents who dont understand their children and all they ever do is anger them n make em pissed...

someday i shall die of frustration....

better get back to doing homework... super pissed... DARNIT!

The lit seminar was quite good... =) linxiu was sitting beside me and saying she felt very cold and the speaker was so noisy and she dont understand what she saying.. i was like, laughing like mad at that sentence she said....

well, later, went to orchard library... ann and hweeli stayed there... hl helped ann with chem...then, me and linixu went to taka department to buy a minnie mouse for ann... went back to give 2 em...

then we started to look for chip n dale soft toy for hl's bdae gift... one of us buy chip, one of us buy dale... but... those that we found look like crap... went to united square toysaurus.... n still dun haf...

walk ard... gave up... abt to go home... tried minimelts.... first time i ate it... i ate strawberry and mango flavour mixed together... very nice!

then, leg hurt like siao... shudnt wear that pair of slippers...said goodbye to lx... went to J8... gave up le... had to buy by yesterday...so... i bought some hp accessories... n earrings... n a cute green toy... =D love tat toy! so kawaii!

go do homework le....

Mum has been naggin again... "why u never do homework?! everyday go out shopping, if not watch movie, then at home watch tv, listen to music, sleep n eat! when are you going to do homework?!" aaaaaahhhhhhh..... everyone is nagging me to do homework...

*sobs*

*pouts*

even wenfeng cant stand me le.... my nick was like, "so much homework! i'm going to die! i don't want to do! even if i want to do, i don't know how to do!" n he asked me, "how come u have so many complaints?" "... really got a lot of homework mAh..." i still dont think i'm 'complainy'... i mean... hello! look at our homework stack! u can stack them up and they're like, thicker than 4 huge dictionaries in terms of volume...

ok, maybe that was exaggerating....

but really got a lot of homework mAh... all wenfeng's batch's fault... do so well for what... i think i'm destinied to get very pathetic marks... but must finish chem by this week... next week got chem xtra lessons n shud need it.... still must study for organic chemistry test... (".) HAIX! i hate CHEM..

decided not to do A maths papers... shall do only E maths... should be able to pass baH? now that i dropped A maths tuition... ? DuNo laH...cannot fail... at least must have C...

*prays fervently*

really very afraid that i wont do well... but i cant find the motivation to sit there for hours and hours and study or do homework...it's really not like me... although... i used to be able to do so easily.... now that it's such an important year, i have lost this golden ability... of all times! why am i so distracted?! cant stand this any longer...

HaiX....

cannot... really MUST do le... if not, by the time wenfeng come back, i havent even finish half of the homework...HaiX

Woke up at 9 plus... so darn early!!! *pouts* went to watch the movie 'Cars'... and well... it's ok LaR... not exactly extremely funny like i wished it'd be...

then, went to singapore power auditiorium... waseh... when i found out that was the building, i was like "eRR... r u SuRe?!" it looked like it was gona collapse and looked so totally 'NICE' and 'GRAND'... it had like, green cloth wrapped all over...

aiYar... forgot to take photo of it... it's really... *coughs coughs*

undergoing construction maH... like anderson... used to look like... rubbish... haha~

ok, so bad... but really mah! only cool thing was the spiral stairs...

then, went in and sat there for 2 hours plus... was supposed to be 3 hours... but there was a break in between in which we went out to eat... quite nice food... at least we din pay like, $35 for nothing... some people walked out halfway... it is truly very sian.. the first speaker was just... talking on and on and on... n we sat very in front so we ended up with aching necks after just 30 minutes... HAiX... the 2nd speaker, mr green was really funny.... he kept cracking jokes... now this is what i call an engaging speaker... =D

then after that, i wanted to go buy clothes...huiyi, linxiu and hweeli were going to come with me.. just walk around orchard.. then, angeline asked huiyi if she want to go taka... so, me, huiyi, linxiu, hweeli, eunice, angeline, shimin and wanyi all headed for taka...on the way to taka, there was so much drama... haha~

then, walked around taka... was somewhat different with a huge crowd... then, we split... shimin and wanyi went home after looking around with us for some time...saw this extremely cute panda!!! i love it! then, was wondering if i should get a gift for wenfeng when he comes back...O_O although.. haha~ cant imagine him with it... it's too cute le! n then, huiyi and eunice bought this small notebook... i bought 2 writing pads... (suppose they're letter pads too?) so eX.... $10.50 leH!

but then.... it's too CUTE le!!! i cant stand cute things!!! aaaaaahhHH! really too kawaii ne! took some photos of it~awww... so cute!

linxiu and hweeli wanted to go to B1 to eat first then join us later but they went home too... left me, huiyi, eunice and angeline. we went to the gowns section... angeline was preparing for grad ball already... so early!

and she had this gown in mind, just din noe the white or blue one is better... I was like... so early? then, eunice and huiyi got all excited and wanted to choose gowns for me to try on... i was like, "it's too early!" and angeline told me that it's ok to try it on... i was quite worried they'd be angry if u try and din buy but angeline said that they wont mind...

so, huiyi and eunice decided that i was really fair... so, i shouldnt wear white... (much as i love white... but i din point that out) they thought that fair people should wear... black and red...

so... Haha~ they picked 2 gowns for me to try... aiyaR... din take pict... the gowns are really nice... although... the red one...

*shakes head*

i duNo how to weAr!!!

so pathetic...

aiyAR, i NEVER wore gowns before, as in this type of go ball or some huge function wear this type (of course i wore the choir gown before lah!) n i din noe how to squeeze my head and where to put my hands..

miraculously, i can wear small...

gosH... i've always been medium or even large... somehow, i could wear small...

must be in bigger sizes...

anyway, the black gown huiyi chose was strapless... and i was staring at it and thinking that ... to wear that type of gown, u must have nice looking er- how to describe? the part u are revealing must look nice...

the red gown had such a high silt.. if i wear it, i must wear a thong... (".) and it's... too sexy le LaH! *sighs*

later, angeline and eunice left.. me n huiyi went to heeren... and i so suay... so many shops selling clothes close down..so.. couldnt buy any clothes that i originally wanted to buy... (".) so pathetic

HAiX...anyway, was playing with my hair that day... n i have concluded tat.. i suck at styling... am quite terrible at using the machine... turned out terrible.. (".)

haiX...anyway, gowns are so NOT me... *shudders* i feel like... i'm someone else wearing them...so gao gui and shu nv... which is so NOT me... (".)

anyway, grad ball wear so nice for what... *sobs* not like he'll be there... *guilty look* oh OK! fine... so i admit it lah...duNo... just wana look pretty only when i see him... *sticks tongue out guiltily* but.. i still dont look pretty anyway... but yar... i mean, can wear normal right?! (.")

miss him...

my GREAT mei n didi... so FANTASTIC... now... my time slot for using the computer is 10am to 2pm... then, 10pm to 12am.. FANTASTIC HOR?! *holds up clenched fist*

i mean.. i sleep to about 11am in the morning before i wake up naturally... n in the morning... he's NEVER online.. O_O he's always online in the afternoon... or at night... at around 9 plus... i start using at 10pm...AAAAAAHHHHHH

anyway, i still duNo when he cuming back... he's supposed to tell me... but ... since he's so GREAT at keeping promises... or rather, since he's so GREAT at remembering what he promised others... i shall have to remind him... *rolls eyes*

gosH...

am rather hesitant about whether i should get him anything... i mean 'song xing' give stuff is normal... cum back give present.. so WEIRD....but... i feel so guilty for buying the wrong size for him... huiyi heard that i bought L for him... i told her it's the wrong size.. n she said, 'he's M isit?' n she was extremely shocked when i said that 'no, it's XL.' she said that a normal person wont buy XL for him...haha~~~ although i agree... it's just an excuse... HaiX... seems like i really duno him very well...if u like someone so much yet u duno what he really likes... seems like it's really really dumb...if i buy present, i shall buy either food or a XL T-shirt that fits him properly.. haha~

watched on u-tube an interview of da S and zaizai together.. so cute!!! zaizai is so funny... =D haha~ he's so cute!!! =D

HAiX *sighs* this is so sucky... Heard that this year prelims will not be after september holidays like always... ='( ok, actually, it's good... i can celebrate my birthday! (".) although... i have this gut feeling that.. i wont do well for prelims... n then i'll just chong like mad n ling shi bao fo jiao during september holidays.... prelims are important but o levels are what determine where u REALLY go....

i have decided that if my prelim dont have 10 points.... minus 3 points, 2 from HCL and 1 from CCA...(since ann dun have A, it's obvious i wont have) then... it'll be 7 points... If i dont get 10 points... I wont go for the first 3 months.. i dont want to go to a JC other than the one i want and get used to the friends i have there and the atmosphere there.... i dont want to risk a change of mind... because... i'm really afraid that i'll lost sight of what i really want... and... i dont think i want that to happen...

so, other than TJC i dont want to go to any other JC... hAiX... what if... o levels come out... i cant make it still? O_O

HaiX.... then i will cry and cry and cry.... until i feel weak all over and everybody thinks that i'm insane.. then, after about 3 days i'll go to... poly... because... actually, i dont like studying... not that poly dun need to study laH... obviously i wana go uni... it's like... JC subjects are basically a continuation of secondary school subjects.. n i really dont like these subjects a lot...(".) i mean... look at me..

2 weeks of holidays are over.. n i have seriously not done anything... each time i start on something, i sit at my desk for about 20 minutes... only 20 minutes and i get up and start fidgeting and cant concentrate... i really dont want to study...

ok, i know i'm insane... since i have confirmed that i dont like to study, why go to TJC? isnt it obvious... n i wont regret it... because it's my decision... nobody asked me to go there.. i dont care about how far it is... or that my parents wont be able to fetch me home and send me to school... i'll have to take mrt everyday.. i'll have to wake up at 5am everyday... and i'll reach home at probably 10 plus... probably wont have time to even do homework...

but i really want to give it a shot... i dont want to end up regretting not following my heart... i can get used to it... i can sleep on the bus or mrt... i can read notes or do homework on the bus or mrt...

as long as... i can be in the same school as him again... as long as i can look at him from afar but not dare to call out to him. as long as i can be like last time, knowing all the events in the school and when are his exams and just providing encouragement...

although... maybe he has more than enough encouragement baH... but... since this is what i want, i wont regret it de..

Even after he leaves.. actually... i dont dare to ask him if he's going to pursue his education in singapore after his A levels... if he doesnt... i'm in no position to stop him... n i dont want to... because it's his future... i'll definitely go see him off when he leaves singapore for good bah.. no matter how extra i will be... (".)

for one year... 365 days... (ok, not really... minus all the holidays and weekends etc) it's long enough for me..

and who says it's not worth it? it's worth it to me...

HaiX... why am i so stupid?

no choice... this is me baH, stupid and crazy...

anyway, it's not like i'm totally against going to TJC... it's just far... it's afterall a top 5 jc...! n wenfeng has said that it is even more slack than anderson... so... that's so my style!!! =D haha~ although i agree that there's no point in going to a slack JC... but still... cant help rejoicing that it's my style... =)

and... it's not like i'm really going to 'tou qi suo hao' and going into science stream like him... i'm going into arts stream (DUH... me? science?! crazy....) although i do want to join taekwondo...hahaha~ hard to imagine right? u know... when i was in primary school, i told my best friends i wanted to join the choir...

n everybody... was very sceptical about it...they dint believe that i could do it.... some told me to face the fact that i cant sing... n... that really really hurt... but... look at me now. i've stepped down from choir... after being in it for 3 and a half years... CHOIR... i joined choir... though i din really contribute a lot, as in, din hold a very high rank and all, but at least... i was a member... n a level leader... and i was in CHOIR...

hahahahaha~

gosH, i feel so shuang... because so many people believed that i couldnt do it.. they felt that i couldnt sing... no way i could sing... and i proved them wrong... i wont forget the elation i felt when i saw that i had been posted to choir when i went to check the board outside the GO in sec 1... of course, i din join choir because i wanted to prove everybody wrong... obviously... i really loved singing...

so... this isnt exactly the same right? i mean, i dont exactly like taekwondo... just always thought that it was a fun cca... and interesting... n extremely practical for girls... ok, practical for guys too...

hMm... better not think so far yet... i'm not even in TJC yet... (".)

however, when one has a goal, shouldnt one be more inspired and motivated to work extremely hard for it?

....

how come...

i decided this last night and yet... today, i din do much either?

oh yar, went to take a scholarship this morning. $100 oh~ =) so weird... how come my last year the results so pathetic still got... although i cant even get 14 now... but still... 14 is so... pathetic... it's the kind of results people will go '14?! that's so poor thing... where do u want to go then?'

aiYo...=( not despising those above 14... (i'm above 14 also lah!) just that... like that also got $100...?

the person was saying that 'u all are very hardworking' and i was laughing to myself and feeling quite guilty... because last year.... *thinks hard* was i ever hardworking?!

although.. last year i was more happy to study than now.. maybe... because wenfeng was taking O's bah... then, i was telling myself that i cant lose to him, must work hard together..... still not very good lah.. but then, i learnt the hard way that... stress doesnt work for me at all... will never forget that i got 28 in term 1... and how stressed up i was whenever i came across a sum i couldnt do... 'how am i going to go to RJ?!'

really the worst thing that i could ever ask myself...7... *laughs* crazy... at least 10 is more within my reach.. erR... compared to 7 lah...

so... shant give myself too much stress... although i really only have 2 weeks left... and at the rate i'm going i will really flunk prep prelims n get 28 like in term 1... *shudders*

aiYo.. what a dilemna...stress or no stress is better leh?!

O_O

i also duNo...

anyway, tomorrow got english seminar... will get to see most of the classmates... aiYAR... so not looking forward to it... because they always finish a lot of holiday homework then they will start comparing how much they've done... i'll just stand there and shut up... and just.... pretend i dont know anything....n i'll see that everybody is already bucking up and studying like siao.. probably someone will complain and say 'aiyAr, i wasted 10 minutes coming down to somerset and walking to this place where the talk is held... i could memorise 10 geog facts in that time u know!'

n i shall roll my eyes.. erR .. in my mind...

i'm so BAD

but aiYar... u all know i'm not an angel... so... YAr~~~ =X

haiX... envy these people... have a thirst for knowledge, or rather, a thirst for good results...

i dun seem to have thirst.. i'm not thirsty... i got enough water le thank you..

oh GosH... did i just say that?

how will i ever have the will to start and continue doing work or studying?

really duno how come last time dun haf these type of problems.... haiX...

started watching E Mo Zai Shen Bian.. n .. i'm duNo.. quite sian after 10 episodes...

dun really like e way it's filmed... a bit too exaggerating.. i noe chewyan will object here... but.. aiyaR... one man's meat is another man's poison... qing ren yan li chu xi shi.... ok, that one dun really apply here... oh wait... chewyan like mike.... so... yaR...

n i watch le... i still think he's.. Ok... owen is cuter... =) no.... should say.. i like wenfeng most...

hahaha

gona kena bash le...

*apologetic look* sorry lah.. i miss him too much le... haiX... really wana see him... *wistful look*

anyway, rainie.... is... cute... but... too cute le... she's so cute it's irritating... (".)

haha~ i'm jealous meh? no lah...where got? ok, fine... i'm jealous... but... duno.. her role is so... nice... so... perfect like that... like whatever bad things are done to her, she'll forgive the person and think that he/she just duno how to express the way he/she feels.... so... tian zhen... haiX... this kind of people go out dun get bullied I'll shave my head bald...

oh wait.. actually, she got ah meng to protect her... so... YaR... lucky girl...*sighs* even though he's a devil... at least he gives her an quan gan... =D

but.. there are some very cute parts lah... =)

i finished watching Mars zhan shen already... zaizai's hair look weird here too.. too long le lah! how come his hair never correct length de?! anyway, da S and zaizai quite compatible... zhan shen is.. so DARK... everything is so... dark... that's the only word to describe it...but then.... this couple is so tao ren xi huan...haha~

i watched the u-tube video which zaizai went on kang xi lai le...it's really funny... n envy him and da S. although it is jie di lian... n i personally dun really agree to it... but then, they used to be godsiblings... haha~ so good...=D remember last time i was crazy over zaizai... but then, later sort of cooled down le... but i still think that he's cute... haha~ n his cold jokes so... jing dian... nobody understand except da S at first... that's how they became godsiblings.. so stupid! where got lidat de?! but hahaha~ they really get along very well... i watched the special features for mars and they keep laughing and joking about...zaizai is like a prince charming bah? he's so funny n gentle...n shuai! hahaha~ ok, i'm crazy le... n the way he smile very cute!!! but then... they so pathetic.. just started dating for a while then got found out already...(".) ...deng

one good thing about troubles are that they pass really quickly...(".) ok, not really laH.. i can forsee myself getting a very pathetic L1R5 and being troubled about having nowhere to go.. seeing as...

i'm totally dun-wana-do-homework-dun-wana-study mode... but then.. i'm trying to change lah..(".)

easier said than done... anyway, i was watching silence.. (shen qing mi ma) with pu en hui (duno how to spell her name in the korean way) she acted in da chang jin as 'lian sheng' before... if i'm not wrong lah... she look totally like her... she's acting as this dumb (as in really dumb, cannot talk) girl... who have this promise with this little boy when they were young..

what is with those script writers?! always got this kind of childhood thingy...like qiu tian de tong hua, hai tun wan lian ren and lv guang sen lin.. HAiX... cant they sometimes come up with something more... different?

but then... she's so chio!!!

haha~

n the boy is zaizai.... hMm... was there ever a show zaizai was in that he wasnt the male lead? ....

but his hair looks weird at that time...(".) not as nice...

but yet.. the show is quite nice... although i only watched 3 episodes...(only 3 episodes available mah)

haIx so pathetic...

but it's so cute!!!

will have to check back every monday... anyway, the guy got some terminal illness, so he only had 3 months left... then he realised that his life was.. somewhat meaningless before... he's quite a heartless businessman... rich n handsome guy... *sighs*

n zaizai's character is so stupid.. duno how to thank girls... he had to ask his butler to et a thank-you gift for the girl... so dumb... n in the end e butler prepared a bouquet of very pretty red roses... but then.. dont red roses represent love?
O_O

oh yar, also got wang chuan yi, lai ya xuan and xu zhi an...

anyway, wenfeng isnt angry with me... although there was such a huge fuss over the stupid gift...(".) haIx...

next time shant give this type of stuff n create trouble for myself...

mum wants to go shanghai..

when i din even study or do much homework...

GOSH

although...

i want to go play and have a happy holiday...

but then... HAIx

duNo...

haf u ever said something u regretted a lot? Well... I have...N the worst thing is, i wasnt even really angry... although i was seriously upset... (".) but I dont think he meant it that way.... so...

i've really gone too far this time

oh gosh...

i think i should apologise bah?

.... ....

i feel terrible...

maybe in the first place, i was the one who distorted his meaning... N just... said such cruel things... things that i dont even mean...

aaaaahhhhhhh

anyway, i think i'm crazy from missing him too much... today, there was this combined english tuition class... n this guy's back view... (at least from my angle) really really looked like him!!! although it's only about 85% alike, it's still a lot...but once u turn and look from another angle, it's so totally not alike... it's really only from that angle from where i sat... anyway, that guy kept talking to this girl and the way they look at each other is THAT kind of look... (".) lucky people... can have tuition together like that.. so cool... anyway, that wears spects... -.-'' so.. YaR...

gosh, i must really miss him a lot...=X

.... ...... ........ HaiX...

since i care about him so much, why did i say such things? i think he's really angry this time...aaaahhhhhhHHH....

After recovering... i have diarrhoea again... gosh.. i'm SO lucky man... aaaahhhhh! 3 more weeks to go... so little! i'm going to DIE!

found e dvd of lv guang sen lin yesterday... n was so totally impatient, cant stand the very 'jian' susan.. so, i skipped to the last episode and was like, crying and crying and crying... so touching! thankfully, it was a happy ending afterall...

=)

n... owen is really cute!!! =) if i were sophie...*sighs* obviously i'd choose my knight... my knight has always been by my side... erRmM wait... actually it doesnt really apply in real life... if the one u like is ur prince... so what if the knight has always been there protecting u? ur prince can protect u too...(".)

oh no! i'm supposed to be helping owen... but in the end i'm helping william..ahhh!!!

O_O

but really mah... although... feelings can be nurtured...=) so... =D

anyway, after watching lv guang sen lin, i've fallen in love with their songs too...=)

haha~ but seriously, they are much nicer after u watched the show...like for E Zuo Ju Zhi Wen and Xian Jian Qi Xia Zhuan...~~~ =)

actually, the more u look at that actress...(what's her name?) the one starring as susan... at first, because she's really extremely scheming, she looks totally irritating and just evil to the core... but then, later, wa! she's actually quite pretty~~~ aiyaR, but yanyan is still prettier...yanyan gets prettier and prettier with each show... remember in Xi Jie Shao Nian...erM- heh heh...aiYaR, not sayin she ugly lah... but just not as pretty... =)

ohH, and the little boy who act as little owen is so kawaii!!! so cute!!!

ok, i'm obessessed about him already... but~~~ he's really so cute!

still dun think william is handsome...(".)

anyway, agree with chewyan that dan yan pi guys dun mean they're not handsome...

=D

anyway, was surfing net for lv guang sen lin picts, then stumbled across this ad on voodoo dolls! n suddenly remembered that i saw them on sale at... erR is it ... more than words? or is it minibits? is there such a shop?! anyway, i remember seeing them on sale...wenfeng said that the cupid one is very cute... too bad cudnt find a picture of it... hmM.. actually, it IS really cute...=) it has this arrow and bow and got wings on the back! so kawaii!!!

Hm... e book fair was quite ok... actually, it wasnt...so little books that caught me eyes... & i'm not very particular about books... wa seh, the english books totally din stand out.. i din even browse through.. just reading the back and i put the book down without any consideration...went with my mum~ she din buy books.. she bought more cds than books (those kind of cheap cheap cds that are quite outdated then nobody buy then they sell at like, $2)

haiZ

where got ppl go book fair never buy much books de? maybe not suitable 4 her bah... she kept scolding me and naggin becoz i read a lot of those love novels... please lorh! at least they're not the corny corny type... & they're all short... as duan pian one... good in a way that i wun be glued to e book for 1 hr or so and refuse to do homework...

I bought only 4 books...2 books are on love... one is something like a girl dao zhui-ing this guy and got another vixen who refuse to let her succeed... one is a complilation of many people's personal experiences...started reading about 6 stories... (they're really short and easy to read.. not many 'sheng zi'...)

the 2 other books are by Han Han... 韩寒... fyi, he's this famous writer in China..& erR actually i din even noe that he existed... but anyway, his books de design r damn cool! i love em! ok, fine... i'm so lame... really like black and white mah~~~~(".)

one is called 毒2 n the other is 一座城池...dun ask me what the hell is a 'cheng chi'...i really duno...(".) havent started reading that book...毒2 is a complilation, 精选of all his works... he chose out all the parts that he liked particularly... finished reading those from the book 长安乱

& it was extremely funny! i love the way he writes!

wenfeng was the one who introduced this writer to me....i felt so guilty because i havent been reading chinese books recently... ok, to be frank, i havent been reading any story books, english or chinese....(".) xiaoying said that she doesnt read one...i was like, who the hell is this...wenfeng said that he writes well and his style is very cool...I had barely glimpsed the cover and the title of the book he was reading when he kept it into his bag, along with the presents. & his ipod is so cool! (.") he got a lot of songs...=) but he so bad... xiaoying and i wanted to look at it and he was like, “太高级了，你们不会用的” n xiaoying started scolding him again... haHa~ xiaoying is so cool! I dun think i ever hit wenfeng before...(.") but she keeps hitting and scolding him... haha~ she's very cute! but then, she calls him 程峰which i find... i mean, i like the name cheng feng... but ... aiyAr... duNo lah... aniwae, xiaoying is around my height.. tat stupid wenfeng was like, 诶，你们俩一样高~

with this very smug look on his face... xiaoying din get it at first... then, wenfeng did this comparison of the 2 of us de height with his hand and the war began...this time, i felt obliged to join in too...wa seh.... so what if he's tall... big deal...*pouting*

anyway, i was like, oh! this is the author wenfeng talked about when i saw this book... & i looked at the cover, and was like, is it this book?! then i thought that it looked something like that, white and black...shud be bah...~ so, i bought that book... then, went to another publisher de 'stall' n realised to my horror, that all of these authors books r like that de... so... yar, the chance of finding the book that wenfeng is reading is ... like, darn slim..

so, anyway, decided buy one more just to get a feel of it... haiX i shud be more observant next time..

aaaahhhhhh

i miss him already!!! can he come back now?! *pouts*

saw this human dressed in a red dog... found it funny, so took a pict of it... i'm so lame..

then me n my mum walked past mph... then, she wanted to buy this book for my ygr bro...n so, i went in and let her allow me to buy mitch albom's the five people u meet in heaven and tuesdays with morrie....yay! mum was quite unhappy, cause i spent a lot of her money ... ops...=P aiyaR... once in a while mah.. anyway, it's not like i spent in on clothes like last time... it's BOOKS b-o-o-k-s books! at least they help u gain knowledge... then again, clothes give others a good impression of u...hmMm...

twins' new cd has some very nice songs! N e point is that the tune is very easy to catch... u can listen to it like, once and the tune keeps playing in ur head.. it's also easy to sing...=)

wenfeng keeps asking me which JC i wana go... xiaoying also... I had to like, say i duno... which is half true... becoz i haf decided on TJC but... then...i'm very scared... because i dun haf any confidence in myself...even if we are in the same school... some things are just not meant to be...

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

xiaoying told me that o levels to me shouldnt be any problem, she say that i am a very clever person... erR not really.. i conveniently left out the fact that i'm like, more than 10 points by a lot...(".) although wenfeng knows... when we were shopping for my gift, he wanted to buy this study charm for me...n i was like... erR - he knows i need it...so pathetic...-.- wish i had the brains... xiaoying told me to go to TJC... she said, 有文峰照着你！'zhao' me... as if! wenfeng only knows how to bully me..even xiaoying knows that i am always 迁就ing him... even when we speak, i have to speak in chinese...not that it's very difficult for me... is it very obvious that i'm not chinese? as in from china...she asked me if i take higher chinese... i nodded and she said, "oh, that's good. then u two can communicate easily..." erR i wun say that's true... sometimes, i cant hear what wenfeng is saying or i really dun see the point in him saying what he said..O.O aaaaahhhhhhhh.... that's an extremely serious problem...

oh no... something is very wrong... i've been referring to wenfeng as wenfeng... that's so unusual..-.-

i mean... i've always been calling him 文峰哥哥...what is wrong with me?!

anyway, i'm on a diet... i cant stand my legs anymore.. been cutting down on the amount of food i eat... and i can say that i've been resisting temptations successfully.. mainly because i'm like at home all the time, cant go out, so ... haha! wun spend money, wun haf cravings to eat this n that ...i'm so fat....

*cries* aaaahhhhhh....i wana watch lv guang sen lin! but my dad has hid the dvd! darnit! aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh..... shit, shud b studying! must make it to tjc!

HmM... where did i go?

i went to T2 to see wenfeng off~ yes, he went back... had to wake up darn early and hail a cab...had to lie to mum...but

it was so totally worth it! i have confirmed that he doesnt have a girlfriend...

& i really had a great time with him... =)

btw..

i met someone very very important!!!!

hahahahahaha~

introducing...xiaoying...!!! she's very sweet and nice!!!

seriously... she's from china too, but she's not from chengdu... she's from VJC, used to be from Xin Ming choir! so she knows mr yong too...

most importantly, she's ....*drum rolls* xiang wang's girlfriend! hahahahaha~

ok, i'm so lame!

but...

aiyar, so excited!

n she's also wenfeng's mei... not very surprised that i'm not his only mei...=)

anyway, wenfeng was really very grateful for the gifts i gave him... =)

xiaoying is very nice... she was like, kept telling wenfeng to buy something for me and i just kept on refusing, dont want him to be broke... he owes some china scholar $200...(".) & she was pestering wenfeng to get a gift for my birthday and kept asking me to repeat my birthday..(".)

& .... being a girl... she can tell... that...wenfeng is very special to me...when we were going to t1 from t2 and took e sky train, wenfeng went in first before we could...so he left first...xiaoying and i were left alone waiting for the next train at the platform...& she asked me why i refused to go and had to see wenfeng go through e gates...she said, "do u have something u want to tell him?" I ...only want to see him safely get on e plane and see his plane take off safely...that's all...

so... u can really watch from the viewing mall and watch the plane take off and start crying... i thought it only happened in idol dramas... din dream that it wud one day happen to me...lx asked, how do u noe which is his plane? i asked him e gate no & u can see the plane lorh... waited for 1, 2 hours in the viewing mall (xiaoying had to leave early for a rehearsal) when his plane finally took off safely... he called to ask me to go back early...say what, got a lot of bad guys at this time... when bad guys like, appear dominantly at night...-.- n when i refused and started 'sa jiao'ing, he was like, "guai la, go back, ok?"

when i kept on refusing, he finally gave up... when he was about to hang up, i wanted to say something... i duno wat... i just wanted to say something to him... but then, i changed my mind halfway.. which left him puzzled... but... HaiX

aaaaahhhhh..... i miss him already... n he'd only been gone not long ago...

Had diarrhoea & cramps... (".) & miss heng actually asked where i went.. geesh... I din noe that she even knew of my existence...-.-

Was horrible... felt all weak and clammy... yucks...

spent most of e morning sleeping... so tired...sian...

haiZ

aiyar, nthg 2 rite le lah... 2dae is not my day...hope tomorrow will be better lorh...

bleah...=P

DuNo... Dun feel like i'm in a bad mood... (".) haha~

although it's not true tat u need to be in a bad mood to go out...

it's like, raining like mad outside.... & after i bathe i have to go out to buy a present...(.") duNo what to get lah! =(

hate buying gifts for people whom u know u cant just grab something that looks nice or u already know what that person wants & u just have to buy it... nobody knows what to get for people more elder than us... erR meaning, adults.. (".)

adults... bird's nest? *shudders* so ex... but then, obviously i'm referring to the in bottle kind lah, very small and insignificant one... (they just see Bird's Nest and go 'wow!' and then realise tat it's so pathetic...) -.-

haiZ

so ma fan!!!

I'm so fan... have to decide quickly.. latest by tonight lorh...have to tell my mum...aaaahhhhhhhh.... ..... ......

anyway, i'm like So BAD

cant stand myself...

lying and all...

aaaahhhhhh....

aiyAr.. just go lah!

so fan... think so much... still have to plan everything properly...& will need to bring a lot of money tomorrow... have to be on stand-by. never taken cab for so long before... will it exceed $50? O.O

haiZZZZz

should i go? should i go? should I go?

will i be happier if i go?

will i die if i dun?

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.....

duno, duno, DUNO

duno whether to go or not...

aaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh this sucks..

to go or not to go...

i really DUNO

I will now go bonkers...(".)

yar, as for what i wrote yesterday... well, what happened basically was that i smsed him.. DuNo... I think we're back to normal...as in, before i was totally upset and hysterical ...I was mentioning very casually that he's very popular... and he was like, who am i popular with... & I duno what happened to me, so I said "mainly girls." "Who ever said that? I've always been very 'di diao' " I couldnt stop lah... so, i said "going out with her is considered 'di diao'?" & then he asked, "When?"

"I think it was sunday..(".) " & then there was this long & sinister silence....& i immediately regretted it... I was like, oh darn... shouldnt have done that.. and so i said, "Er...Actually, it's none of my business... I'm sorry..I dont have the right to ask...Really very sorry...please dont be angry with me.. I'm just... erR... curious...This...Let's just pretend we never talked about this before..."

thankfully, he replied "Are you ok? U think too much ba. I dont mind at all ah..." No explanation... (".) ok, fine.. let me just be happy that he isnt angry and scolding "is it any business of yours? why should u care?" but yAr

i think he must have reasons for not explaining bah... "because... i'm afraid that u'd be angry..." "of course I wont be angry ah..." "it's better not to take risks... I'm most afraid of people being angry at me..." "I happen to be someone who never gets angry... which JC are you preparing to go?"

-.-''

it IT?! he never angry one meh?!

i dun believe...

"i dont believe u wont be angry...All people would be angry de ah~ but... I have really never seen you angry...I've only seen u happy, sad, in a dilemna and bored... oh, I dont know yet... I am a person with no goals..."

aniwae, then we smsed each other talking about like, everything until about 12.40 plus before we both went to bed...so tired... was struggling to keep awake waiting for his reply...

I still would have liked an explanation... but then... since he never mention to me... i dont think it is of much significance.. anyway, i told him once that if he have a girlfriend, he must tell me... I have the right to know what my 'da sao' is like.. actually, i said that to duNO.... just sort of jokingly... duno if he still remembers...

anyway, oh my god.... I made it so obvious that i'm jealous lah! *frowns* Am I not obvious enough?! god...

he either really duno or he pretend he duno... so obvious lorh... i dun think he's that dumb... though i dun really think his EQ is very high... because he's never angry doesnt mean everybody else is also like him... & he actually said, "was i sad before? I didnt know that i was sad before.. i thought i'm never sad..."

is he really human?! gosh... "yes, there was... when u got back ur results for o levels..." I dont think u can argue with that... if that wasnt sad, what is SAD?

how can anybody not feel anger or sadness when he's human?

like I told him once, he's like a block of wood... everything to him is just so trivial...O.O & he's even devoid of emotions now... gosh...(".)

aaaaaaahhhhhh

to go or not to go?

i want to GO!! =(

Name: (Chloe) Tang Wei Mun
Age: 17 going to 18
Bdae: 5th Sept 1990
Spiritual Bdae: 5th Jan 2008
Studying at Temasek JC
Sweet & nice
God's child

Good grades
Love
Acceptance
Nice clothes
Nice bags
Idol dramas
More time
More sleep

lets screammmmmm !

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