YoU weRe mY evErYtHinG...NoT anYmoRe

2008年3月10日星期一 --

NEW BLOGGIE

CHLOE HAS A NEW BLOG

I will be moving from this blog to the new blog...

http://chloe-xiaowen.blogspot.com/

Why I refuse 2 juz change e blogskin is coz... [."] COZ...

[".] Duno lehs -.-" maybe is coz I feel that I'm different now

I was talking to Linxiu on msn 2dae, then she said tat she is happy 4 me becoz I finally saw everything, finally understood tat it really juz wasn't worth it. [".]

She said that ... after that she really saw a change in me. I really became happier.

I think another reason would be all God's credit (: Daddy is great ^^ So yahs [."] new life new blog. LOLS weird logic lahs

But anyway this blog used 2 be full of entries tat werent really about me. I didn't exist in my own eyes. I never had e right to be angry, upset or threaten others wif tears. Now I realise... we all haf emotions. & nobody ever said tat u cant be angry or sad. Coz it is an emotion (:

I didn't exist... & now I exist ^^ Thank God I found You, Daddy ^^

I spent such a long tym making e new blog & retyping everything in e template-.-

& I got a little irritated coz I cud not upload photos onto the side bar coz it was so SMALL. It would only look nice with photos wif breadth 220. Which means I had to resize all e picts I wanted to put & dey looked quite ugly after tat -.- LOLS. So I gave up eventually [".] I shall post my pictures sumwhere else =.= or in my blog entries sumday (:

Anyway, shud I change e skin 4 my private blog?!

But what's e point?! -.-" It's not lyk any1 gets 2 c it other than me =.= HAIYO [".]

23:37

2008年3月9日星期日 --

〈恋空〉

I mentioned that I watched〈恋空〉tat tym [".] hMM siti & sijie both gave it 2.5 stars. Sijie told me that the main lead guy is actually 18, our age!!!!

I was lyk... O.o WHAT!!!

Ok lahs, we r giving him credit for his acting (: although I didnt lyk e scene when he started crying. Sijie told me tat Siti started laughing WHAT is this?! LOLS

-.-" I will gif it 3 stars lahs... coz e plot was so predictable [".] & I added stars coz I think e actors/ actresses quite gd looking (: LOLS I think e male character looks handsome wifout white hair x_x LOLS

片名：戀空
導演：今井夏木
原作：美嘉《戀空，悲傷的愛情故事》
主演：新恒結衣、三浦春馬、小出惠介、香裏奈
類型：青春、愛情
片長：129分鐘
發行：東寶(日本)、龍祥(台灣)
這部被日本媒體形容為「讓無數年輕女孩噴淚號泣」的電影【戀空】，不但讓許多日本女孩帶著她們的男友一起到戲院裡感動飆淚，更捧紅了主演該片的女主角新垣結衣，讓這位來自沖繩的清新透明系鄰家女孩，成為2007年日本最高人氣的耀眼超新星。

from movie:
你是河流，讓我有信心不斷前進你給我了廣闊無際的天空，讓我堅強，讓我充滿信心當飛機化過天際，是我倆相愛記號天邊出現彩虹時‧你我留下的笑容草原的努力奔馳，你我開心的絮語都訴說著我們的愛情故事...

生命有限，但真愛是永恆的，曾經幸福的記憶，將永遠永遠存在我們的心中曾經失去的過往，都將拼湊完整，佈滿整個天空我與天空正在談戀愛中…..

「你現在幸福嗎？」「我曾經幸福過…我現在很幸福！」
我們要一直一直幸福下去喔
如果你變成天空那…想你的時候我就看著天空晴天就是你心情好的時候雨天就是你在哭泣夕照的天空就是你臉紅害羞了澄靜的夜空就是你溫柔地抱著我。 By 美嘉

=======================================
阿弘與美嘉的愛，就像天空壟罩著大地，不斷前進的河水，更帶來無窮盡的希望。溫暖卻巨大的愛，卻讓愛更堅強更茁壯。真正愛ㄧ個人，是會讓對方幸福的，阿弘是，阿優也是，都是一個溫暖的大好人，只是我們常會在錯的時間遇到了對的人，但只要曾經擁有過，我想就是幸福的。

阿弘姐姐說：「如果是命運，你們還會相遇」。HmM [".] yahs...if it's God's plan that u r meant to be with this person then even if u r separated, He will bring the 2 of u together again (:

曾經失去的愛，最後終將拼奏完整。最後的三個月，我想美嘉與阿弘都是幸福的，化作天空的阿弘，ㄧ輩子保護與擁抱著美嘉，並且用另外一種形式戀愛著…
阿優is very noble lehs...!!! x_x dere so many ppl in this world who r suffering seeing the one they love happy I guess... [".] so cute lehs he... He really gave his all to mika. Mika is lyk... so lucky! lols x) Haix, what to do, Chloe is a hopeless romantic =.= lols~~~ xD but haiyo, movie story wun happen in real life.l
Actually e gal is younger than e guy lehs! She's 20 years old!! Hahas, cant tell at all x) they r such a sweet on screen couple ^^ they got couple face can!!! x_x

SO LUCKY

x_x

haix ... (: nvm lahs~ my turn will cum soon xD when God thinks that He wana send e right guy to me... who knows it will happen tomorrow or 10 years later! T.T But I wana get married early!!! so got more tym 2 spend wif my hubby, & not be intruded by e presence of our children immediately. I m now considering whether to haf children after thinking abt e higher costs of living plus I think I will be very poor... ):

HAIX

nvm lahs, still long way 2 go. dun think about it [".]

aaahhhhh they r such a sweet couple lorhs~~~!!!! (:

*goes goo goo ga ga over this sweet couple*

13:05

2008年3月8日星期六 --

march holidays r here

I dun think e holidays r "holidayish"

rehearsals 4 e play start on monday, all e way to wednesday. might have em on saturday too. But I will juz not go if it clashes with sermon.__. no lahs -.-" I'm kidding. I see how ok? Coz very irresponsible lahs =.= & wednesday I cant go coz got metamorphosis. I already said have in morning from 10.30am to 1pm then ok liaos wad! Now 1pm to 4pm I wana go home & do homework or study oso cant. So anyhow lahs -.-

I was quite irritated. but then I talked to God & I juz vented all my unhappiness... after that I resolved that... yahs [".] nvm lorhs... I will juz treat it as a challenge lorhs. to be able to study even though e tym I get back is exactly lyk tat of cuming home frm sch when dere's sch =.=

friday got bbq wif e chungshan association people. my sister has kindly decided to pangsey me. Gd lorhs =.= nvm I promised I wud go, so I will go. Plus I havent been attending meetings & etc nowadays. I seriously cant handle it. Btw, now they have 20+ members, I think I m not reali tat impt already. Plus, let e more free and enthu people do bahs~ I really really have so much to care & worry & stress about already.

Hon commented tat my face was becoming more & more oily. It is all e cause so stress T.T I felt so sadded ): I was lyk.. O.o haix... I m becoming uglier by e day.. T.T sobs

2dae we went NTU 4 econs seminar. I tell u how much I ate 2dae

morning: breakfast. 2 donuts. (desperation. no other food in sight -.-)
teabreak: curry puffs, sandwiches, tarts etc (provided by MOE although we paid $10.70 for e whole seminar... yes, $0.70 is coz of GST =.= can u believe it? LOLS)
during lectures: Fangyun & Pammie (I was so surprised 2 see em dere! I sat beside Pammie & I kept drawing on her notes & she on mine) kept passing food to me as e lectures were going on. I ate roller coaster, chocolate mint biscuits, sweets, marshmallows! GOSh
Lunch: NTU canteen A. Ban Mian. $2. Cheap & quite worth it. not bad tasting. E food in NTU canteens r cheap. Alota ppl. spent long tym queuing coz 2dae was oso NTU open house, so dere were a lota ppl apart frm jc students lyk us who came 4 econs seminar. Drank apple juice wif milk. (: Sijie recommended tat fruit juice stall. was nice ^^ agree wif her taste
lectures: More food provided by Pammie & fangyunie O.o GOSH
2nd teabreak: eclairs, pastries etc
after e seminar: went to heartland mall kovan. ate old chang kee food. (not considered meal but I still counting this in)
dinner: at home. mum's homecooked meals wif nice loving soup that takes very long 2 cook.

CHLOE u r going 2 becum a glutton

Sheppie came to accompany me at Heartland mall. YAY! really appreciated it although I was seriously alright wif going alone. Coz initially I juz wanted to do sum walking around alone. (Not coz I emo ok!!! -.-" If I emo I dun go shopping! I tell God & cry to Him LOLS x_x So yahs... not me angsty. Is juz... ppl alwaz nid deir own personal space? I felt lyk I wanted a bit of tym wif myself) But then I was thankful tat she came all e way to kovan to accompany me ^^ I bought sum stuff 4 Tim. is very belated bdae presents. (: thank God for Tim in my life ~

Anyway Hon was telling me she feels that for our prayer meet for class 1, we nid 2 do sumthing more... It juz doesnt seem enuf. I was wondering ... then wad else can we do? reali wana start a class cell group mehs? O.o

2mr I shall eat less. ): I dun wana becum fat... SOBS (: hahas~ so lame -.-"

okies... I shall go sleep. tmr muz mug

we r so getting yuhui bikini 4 her bdae can LOLS x) inspired by Den's classmates... & modified & improvised ^^

HEYS I 4got 2 blog in my private blog...!! -.- YAWNS I'm tired

Gdnite~~~~ *waves*

22:54

2008年3月7日星期五 --

A level results release 2dae

2dae was A levels results release. I saw a couple of disappointed faces & sum ppl who were crying ): It was really saddening... So far God has been kind to me. I've never yet experienced grief after taking national level results... ): Actuali I realli pray that God wun let me haf a taste of it when A levels is lyk e most important part of all e examinations... [".]

I wished all my seniors & frenz getting back chinese gd luck

I'm so HAPPY 4 my dar (: He got an A for his chinese ^^ My dar mahs~ chinese sure pro 1 LOLS x)

CY got C, Sheppie got S & Den got B. I heard my classmates did fine also. ^^ gd 4 em (: I

ce mountain is darn pro. He doesnt noe his results even now -.-

anyway, sijie, siti & I went to watch this movie called Chinese name: 恋空. Koizora. It's a jap romance movie (: E plot is quite cliche. But Chloe being Chloe, cried lyk duno wad [".] *note: Chloe is easily touched & really quite a crybaby* but is not a lot lahs....not more than usual, 4 Chloe's ability to cry & generate tears.. I think it was only 20% that came out. but it was quite sad... although e plot was cliche.

& sum scenes Sijie & I were lyk ... WHAT IS THAT? O.o LOLS -.-" they juz din reali make sense 2 us. but I felt that though sum stuff were cliche, the scenes were really pretty & sweet. HAIX God, it's tat feeling again!!!! -.-" But it got me thinking lahs ... HmM [".] even if u move on, there is 4eva a special place in ur heart tat is empty... once filled by a certain sum1.

sobs 2dae started off quite terrible. I lied 2 practically every1. then I told Hon e truth coz I was lyk... O.o why shud I lie to her? then e both of us started talking about our troubles. & we felt better after that. We promised each other to talk to God. (which I already did b4 I reached school) & sum1 more mature lyk Tim if we still couldnt sort our thoughts out.

I was quite unfair to God this morning. I felt bad after that... ): How can I lidat... Sorry, God... You know I was just being angsty x_x But lucky You were there lahs, what would I do without You?! this is totally why I lyk 2 talk to You 1st, even b4 any1 else nowadays. & I sorted out everything (: Thank You, Daddy 4 giving me strength

I think ppl can tell that I was upset... I feel bad 4 being so cold 2 em. but then I needed to be sort out everything ): sorry to whoeva who thought I 'dao-ing' or angry wif u. I wasn't! I was juz seriously needing tym to cool down

& now I feel so much happier xD thank God ^^

21:22

2008年3月6日星期四 --

而我知道 by: 五月天 (:

冰块还没融化你在看表我笑的尴尬

你说最近很忙改天聊吧

那天我在楼下想了很久想你说的话

你说爱情很窄世界很大(而我们应该长大)

就这样吧就这样吧我想我听懂你话中的话

而我知道那真爱不一定能白头到老

而我知道有一天你可能就这么走掉

而我知道我知道这一切我全都知道

我就是受不了

而我知道我们曾天真的一起哭与笑

而我知道放开手但不知道怎么忘掉

而我知道你走了以后的每一分一秒

却还是这么难熬微

笑紧紧咬牙给你祝福你自由飞吧

你说温室没有灿烂的花(你总是很有想法)

就这样吧就这样吧我同意可是我泪如雨下

What a nice song x) hahas~ I lyk e tune of this song ^^ Mayday songs r nice YAY *fireworks blast*

2dae I cried during lunch coz I felt so heart-brokened seeing Yvonne so upset.
I had a dream about two nights ago. That my friends were all talking about me. Then sum1 (cant remember who) said that Chloe is e type who will cry when she sees her friends or e person she cares about a lot upset.
[".] I duno if tat's a gd thing... but yahs... it is really 100% true lahs -.-"

I remember two years ago I wasn't e 1 taking results but I cried coz I felt so upset for ice mountain seeing him sad. UGH Chloe, u r a bit 2 sympathetic! (OH MY SKY i hope tat doesnt happen tmr. Wad will red riding hood think -.-") & then 2dae Von was super sad. Recently she has been really upset. I think I know why lahs... [".] But coz I'm not that close, close to her (I suppose u can say we r juz frenz who hang around, & daughter & mother in name x_x ) I cudnt really do anything except buy watermelon pineapple juice 4 her to cheer her up (: I felt so much for her when I saw her crying her heart out tt I cudnt help but cry. (wadeva wif e insensitive ppl who say here "u cry oso no use mahs..." So unfeeling can!!! -.-") She refused 2 eat a proper meal u noe! ):

Gals arh!!! Dun lidat already! Do NOT use ur meals to joke ok?! I'm oso guilty of doing that when I'm upset. We so totally shud STOP doing that! -.-" *faints*

& I kept praying for her...haix God... I suppose everyone has to go through this, don't they? [."] I just wished it was less painful. then again, no pain no gain...we learn thrgh the pain I guess & emerge stronger =)

UGH I hate to admit it... But I do want to see him tmr [".] God... I should talk to him right? we are still friends afterall! O.o *SIGHS*

wednesday we were late for civics in audi. (Hon, me & siti) so we were afraid if we went in at tt tym every1 will stare at us. So we sat outside e audi tables & juz chatted. & I got so much off my chest & mind. We were discussing certain stuff. Then siti was saying that sum gals r bitches but they always get e guys. I was lyk LOLS O.o Is not really true lahs .__. there r exceptions. Angeline & Qi En are really really tat type tat will seriously last all e way until they get married. Seriously seriously... (: & angeline is ^^. She's lyk this big sister who takes care of e ppl around her. Anyway then siti told me sum of her sadness & her troubles wif relationships wif her 2 "brothers." & then I told her sum of my past. then she took out sweets & started giving me. We looked as if we were popping drugs. BUT it was harmless sweets lah (: then she said tat we were defending them even after so long. Even me!! UGH Chloe & Siti, y r u so forgiving?! Anyway it was a great chat, coz both of us knew how it felt lyk 2 be in tat type of situation.

I was talking to God tat night. & I juz felt lyk.. hmM I guess I dun haf a problem wif forgiving but I haf a problem forgetting. I forgive lehs (: But I nvr forget. I alwaz remember e quarrels & disagreements I haf wif others. Even if we have sorted it out already. It's really not what I want. I really forgive. But I will have it ingrained in my mind.

Okies, go talk to God tym (: nitex ppl ~~~

Gd luck 2 all those getting A level results tmr including those taking A level chinese. God bless em ^^

20:13

2008年3月5日星期三 --

I juz realised wif a pang that sum of my classmates & CG mates are taking A level mother tongue results oso -.-"

OPS

x_x

Shall pray 4 em. & my father go malaysia -.-" So dangerous!!! Muz pray 4 his safety

Pray 4 my brother oso. Coz he very bad tempered nowdays. My poor mother muz tolerate his "unreasonable-ness" x_x

KAYS, so many things 2 pray 4. Daddy, help me remember them lehs O.o

anyway my class had class prayer meet (: every week we haf once ^^ So gd! & now I noe more about e other brothers & sisters in my class. coz I dun reali noe Amanda very well. we prayed 4 each other & 4 all of us. Tim & Eve are super, super inspiring. Eve gave me a notebook wif a lot of verses at e bottom. Each day got different verse. she gave me a poem & a verse in paper. She told me tat she stuck hers on her wall 2 alwaz remember God's love.

yesterday i stuck it also. then this morning after talking to God as I brushed my teeth & bathed, I looked at it & I instantly felt... WHOA ^^ Thank God for so many things (: For everything He has blessed me with. let me never forget that that no matter whether I'm happy or super depressed, God should always be in e picture, & the centre of everything. Or my whole life (:

yay I think my csc stuff enough already. shall set off 4 sch now x_x Sry, Daddy, I noe is wrong to go late T.T

07:05

Thank God 4 all this joyfulness that is flooding me (: I feel lyk... I haf a strength 2 do anything becoz I haf u on my side ^^

CG reminded me of a lot of stuff. I trust God but erR- sometyms... I reali dump everything 2 Him, wif regards to homework & test -.- UGH

LOLS bad Chloe lahs =.=

Okies, Daddy, I will change ^^

but gif me tym arh? xD

LOLS so weird

yesterday i led prayer 4 Holy Comm. WAH I was so nervous. but it turned out ok. Every1 was quite O.o coz my prayer is super unique. Junwei said my prayer is lyk, so joyful. [."] haiyo -.- I duno wad 2 say mahs~

I met Den & Sijie in e morning. I told Den I super scared. He said, nvm 1, u will get used 2 it.

LOLS -.-" So encouraging arhs~

Anyway, thank God 4 Den coz I've been meeting him in e morning on tuesdays, thursday & fridays (monday prayer meet & i alwaz get held up over sum small matter so even if i set off early I cum at e same tym -.-" wednesday is report to sch late... so we tend 2 be late -I stay at home 2 do work coz 1st period no lesson... SO BAD ARH, CHLOE -) coz we alwaz take e same train. then we walk 2 sch 2geder. & it's a joy being around him. Coz Den is so lame -.-" LOLS I sound lyk i suan-ing him. But I thank God 4 e chats we have. (: & I'm quite prone to sadness in e morning [".] I think God sent Den to cheer me up LOLS. Thank God I haf a friend/ brother in Christ lyk Den ^^ Thank You, Daddy (:

Okies... Ice mountain & red riding hood r coming back 2 take results on friday.

God, I thank You for all the love You have given me, so that i always remember that You forgave us, & we ought to forgive those around us. Lord, I thank You for giving me the love to forgive people who have really hurt me. I thank You for letting me realise tat not forgiving or letting go is just doing harm to myself, Lord. I thank You for enabling me to forgive, just like how You forgave me. Lord, please bless wenfeng & nie jin & I hope that whatever results they get, Lord, it's Your best plan for them. Lord, thank You for allowing me to truly wish them the very best. Lord, please watch over them & I pray that one day, they will come to know You. Lord, if You still hope that i continue to be wenfeng's friend, I pray that I will have the strength and the maturity to continue doing so. Lord, I really find it such a pity that things turned out this way. Lord, please give me e strength to take action and not just sit by and watch everything just slip away. I thank You in advance with faith. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Gd luck to my kor...I hate to admit it, but I think sumtyms I still miss him a little... ugh x_x but it's ok lahs~ I have God (: What else can beat that?

06:23

2008年3月2日星期日 --

[".]

Although I've got alot of things 2 do, after praying I felt this strength to do everything I have this upcoming week (: I organised everything to do & I set out 1 by 1. YAY ^^

Thank God I have God with me^^

21:48

2008年3月1日星期六 --

[".]

I enjoyed service & pdp 2dae

CY says I have no life-.- Yahs, I guess u can say that again =.= IT club is now on thursdays. & ocassionally on both thursdays, sumtyms on fridays & sumtyms on saturday mornings. at least it doesnt crash wif service [".]

Aniwae (: we had fun in Mr Loh's house ^^ great experience x)

He's a really nice teacher! Totally lyk a fren 2 all of us =)

So Chloe's schedule goes like this

Monday: After lesson ends at 3pm..rush a bit of homework/ take a short nap so that I wun sleep & waste money for tuition then eat a snack as I walk to mrt then... Tuition 6.30 to 9.30pm

Tuesday: CG plus reading programme at tampines [".] (reading programme depends on whether I'm on duty x_x) BTW e venue is opposite Mr Loh's house! Sijie & I just realised 2dae! hahas~ x_x

Wed: PDP Chinese drama
& WAHOO I'm e assistant director. My director is quite clueless -.-" I suddenly feel lyk I have so many things 2 do whilst she goes 2 study H3 maths. Not that I blame her. But yahs ...[".] is really just my luck ... ):

Thursday: Lesson to 4.40pm. then pdp (IT Club) to about 6pm? O.o

Friday: Pdp. IT or Chinese drama

Saturday: Chinese drama or IT. service.

Sunday: HOMEWORK plus chiong tests!

& I'm not an owl. I nid 2 sleep! Sleep is lyk, A gift from God! LOLS we learnt tat in sermon 2dae~

I haf my independent study to be submitted to MOE for my china studies. It's lyk a uni research paper lorhs [".] Only less words.

& being e assistant director is really the most taxing job ever!!!!

Although I feel super overwhelmed, I shall seek comfort in God's arms & His presence. Only He can provide so much comfort.

I m now in luv with Mayday (taiwanese chinese pop band with very nice songs) (: Thanks 2 Den. I was listening 2 e mp3 songs in his hp b4 service. & I realised this Milopeng song in e hp is really nice also! btw I din noe Den's phone was that model he's using now -.-" I tawt it was e 1 he brought to china =.= apparently he changed it very very long ago ... O.o oh my sky... oh well~~~ nobody has nothing better 2 do than 2 notice other people's phones what!!! [".]

迷路兵 - 我为什么还爱你
一天过一天明天再见这是你每次说的一直都没有改变你的无奈我知道你的心已不再放开这是最好的决定你的爱已不在我为什么还在这发呆我为什么还爱你为什么还想着你不是我不放弃是什么原因你狠心把我丢在这里我为什么还爱你为什么还想着你不是我不放弃是什么原因你狠心丢我在这里一天过一天明天再见这是你每次说的一直都没有改变你的无奈我知道你的心已不再放开这是最好的决定你的爱已不在我为什么还在这发呆我为什么还爱你为什么还想着你不是我不放弃是什么原因你狠心把我丢在这里我为什么还爱你为什么还想着你不是我不放弃是什么原因你狠心丢我在这里

^^ So happy! YAY 4 mandarin pop! xD

Aniwae....I stayed after service. Coz... I felt lyk I shud listen to Justina. So ... once in a month lahs [".] I will stay 4 dinner & juz bonding. I thought I wud kena scolding when I smsed my parents. But they din really say much. But when I came back, my mother was telling me that if church is affecting my studies, that is it. She will not let me go anymore. She told me to see for myself how busy I am, what kind of life I was leading...

I didn't say anything. I knew it was pointless to argue now. seriously...

So I juz kept quiet. After a while she stopped talking about it. I know she is very unhappy. But I really really spend every dinner with em on saturdays. I did make a lot of attempts to treasure this important family eating dinner together day! I really didn't join my CG a lot of times just to have dinner with them!

Maybe once a month is too much? I should start with once every 2 months -.-"

Although I feel burdened, I shall cast all my worries upon Daddy & let Him carry my burdens (: He shall give me e comfort & strength I need ^^ I want to live everyday with Him & walk beside Him, not in front or following grudgingly behind!!! (:

Daddy I love You <3

22:55