sats! I think it's a curse of some sort... but I just can't seem to get stuff done on sat. excluding those saturdays where I went for chinese drama and doing project plus stuff... SIAN

haix...spent today watching meteor garden =.= *feels guilty* did i mention before? I used to like hua ze lei a LOT!! haha~ because he's the tall, quiet and cold type... hmM (.") sounds familiar? ya...I think so too.

有时，我很不了解他...有时真的觉得,我在他的心中什么都不是,但是有时却觉得其实他是在乎我的.真的好奇怪...(".)

yesterday chinese drama was from 3 to about 11pm. =.= ugh... lucky my parents finally realised that they were being totally unfair to their daughter and came to tj to fetch me. if not... *shudders* going home so late??? it'd be the 1st tym I went home by myself so late...*nods* i am a good girl ok? even if I go out, it'd not drag till so late. hmM... what time did I go home after watching fireworks? UGH it ended quite late too... but never mind that...

anyway, I was still sick. I didn't have dinner because I really didn't have any appetite whatsoever. at first he was sitting in the centre row of seats then he moved to the seats on the left side, a few rows behind mine. I was quite disturbed by this. It's intimidating to be within his view. then... practically nothing happened much except I was attacked by headaches throughout the rehearsal.

it was a full dress rehearsal so everyone brought their clothes. I rummaged through my wardrobe n i found out that the only dark coloured t-shirt i have is the anderson tee and our 3-2 class tee. & both of them have words and picts in white!!! so I was like... ugh... never mind, anderson tee bah.

So.. being sick, whenever I was free, I was sitting down with my head on the table...then it was time for the 2nd play so we went backstage and it was pitch black. he was looking for his roses to give to the girl and then he asked us where it was. we were all thrown into chaos coz few of us had our hp wif us & we couldn't see at all!!! I was rummaging thrgh the boxes,then i found it n passed it to him.

we were totally in a frenzy, searching for our stuff and trying to refer to our paper in total darkness...=.= then he was quite angry with us, saying we were rather disorganised. I was going to go talk to lin shuang about what we needed to move, then he told me to bring the wine bottles to the other side of the backstage and try not to make any sounds. but when i took it from him, there was quite a lot of clanging sounds.

after his scenes, he went downstairs to the dressing rooms and stayed there for a really long time. then he went out of the audi during the 3rd play through the backstage door (which I was sitting near to) and came in again. when he came in again and when he walked past me, he said 'hi'.

I was just... '???' and didn't reply. maybe he wasn't addressing it to me. although there was nobody else near him other than me at that time. =.= but then... aren't we not talking to each other???

what is going on here...好乱啊！！！

because I was really bored today, I was lying in bed doing nothing except hugging siwen. then I thought about how he didn't tell me that he had a girlfriend. after much thinking, I think I am making a big deal out of nothing. puvana said she had this feeling before. she didn't tell her ex she already has a boyfriend becoz he doesn't want him to stop liking her. but it might not even be because she still likes her ex. it's really because she just doesn't want him to stop liking her.

I was quite .. shocked to hear such a perspective. so in other words, he's just being really selfish... it's like he has classified me as 'the girl who likes him.' then even though he doesn't even like me at all, he still doesn't want me to know that he had a girlfriend and stop liking him. If not, the other way of thinking, is... he doesn't want me to get hurt. I would really like to think it's the 2nd way... but then.. I'm not even sure if he really had a girlfriend. maybe I should confirm first. but who am I to ask him or ask any of his friends...?

我连妹妹都不是了

其实，如果真的有，她应该很美，很聪明，很温柔，很成熟吧...不像我长得平凡，呆头呆脑，笨笨的，不温柔，非常幼稚，像个小妹妹...do you think she's a scholar? somehow, I think she is...而我却是新加坡人...haix...it's lyk we r frm different worlds...

was watching 热情仲夏today... ugh.. i feel so sad for e female lead... =(

唉...别提了,会越想越难过的.虽然我知道他跳舞时是在演戏，可是我还是觉得看了后要不难过真的好难...

it's the afternoon, really early. & I am here at home, blogging...didn't go to school today. I have gastric pain, headache and sore throat. felt really terrible.

went to see a doctor just now, then slept for quite some time before mum woke me to eat porridge. haix...plain and unappealing porridge. and for now, I'm on medication. I don't like to take medicine but yar... =( I think I'm destroying my own body by not eating at regular times.

I've not been taking breakfast, I skip lunch a lot lately, and I sometimes skip dinner too. at times when I do eat, it's at really weird times. eg: lunch at 4pm, dinner at 9pm

anyway, UGH I'm missing chinese drama today. UGH then I won't know what to move on for the third play! UGH!

i m also missing a maths test. aka... I need to do it tomorrow. UGH friday is supposed to be a slack day. =.= eeeewwww. I'd rather fail and get it over with.

anyway, did I ever mention? I tend to fall sick whenever I'm sad. This seems like one of those cases.

yesterday during chinese drama, I found out that he had a girlfriend when they were in RJ...maybe I am making a big fuss out of nothing since they are not together now and it was some time ago. It's just... I really want to know... what type of girl she is...

she must be really chio, since he mentioned it's the most important criteria. & she must be really gentle, unlike me...she must be smart, since she can get into RJ. whilst I got... 28 for prelims. is she a prc scholar too? unlike me

I don't know why I should even bother. It's not like I am anyone to him...Maybe I can just die and he will be totally unaffected.

well, yesteday chinese drama started late, at 3.30 like that... it was in the audi.the 1st play was having technical rehearsal. I went to sit on the left side of the audi stairs near my seat and was copying the layout of the left side of the stage for the 2nd play (the one i am in charge of) using paper and pencil and then he came down from the stage and he stood in front of me. I was like... huh? then he suddenly opened his mouth and talked to me. he asked 你不用搬道具啊？and I was like, 啊？actually I heard... I was just appalled that he spoke to me. he repeated his question. I replied, 我是做第二部剧的. then I couldn't control myself so I blurted out 奇怪，你怎么会跟我说话？ then he was like... huh? he said 我为什么不能够跟你说话？and i said this dumb answer 你不是不认识我吗？i meant it as in he never responds whenever I say hi to him or anything along the corridors. he shook his head and went to sit at the centre area of the auditorium. I was like... diao...=.=

then when it ended, I was carrying chairs out of the audi to the canteen. then he was talking to the guy behind me, ( who was also carrying chairs) asking about where they wanted to eat for dinner, go back to hostel or the shop opposite. then he went to the washroom to get rid of the make up. speaking of his make-up... *tries hard not to laugh* *can't stand it* HAHA, omg, it's really thick lorh! I think the people from the make up crew hate him. XD joking.... but when the stage light shines it's not very obvious...

& i asked his friend if they were on very good terms. and he said of course. So I asked him if he has a girlfriend. that's when I found out he had ...

I know he lied to me when he told me he wants to concentrate on studies and doesn't want a girlfriend back then. but knowing that he lied because he did have a girlfriend after he told me that is...really...

maybe that was why he was so upset n crushed when he got back his o's. because they'd be separated...? I have never seen him upset. and that was really the only time...

coincidentally, it was pouring when this happened. I was extremely affected. his friend asked why I wanted to know and i said 'no reason.' I went back to the audi really fast after putting the chairs back and I was really trying hard not to cry. then I checked that there was not anything more to move. I went down the stage and he came in at that exact time. I looked away, at the wall very determinedly because there were tears in my eyes. he just walked past me and replied a senior's question about the make-up.

I grabbed my bag and left in the heavy rain...

I opened my umbrella but I mainly covered my file... I was drenched. but I couldn't really care much. took a cab. then after bathing and dinner, I fell asleep after crying. so... then I woke up sick today. yay *dripping with sarcasm*

I don't see why he would lie. & I don't see what right I have to be upset.

& I can't believe I am sick because I am sad because of him.

whatever happened to not shedding a tear over him ever again...omg why am I in tj...

I can't imagine how to face him tomorrow.

I really shouldn't be blogging now seeing as it is already damn late & I have so many stuff undone and I have to stay till 9pm tomorrow... there's this MOE exchange programme to taiwan.(criteria: L1R5 10 and below and chinese B4 and below) and I can't go because of chinese drama tomorrow... =( I am super sad, I really want to go to taiwan lah!!! =( SUPER DUPER SAD

but yar...我和他已经真的相处的时间已经剩下够少的了，所以唉...I really want to go to taiwan...!!!!

SAD

and today we were making the sandcastle. you know, it really looks weird but it's the best we've got now. haix... please lah, it's not easy to build lorh. haix...I totally didn't expect him to come today. So i was extremely shocked. & of all places to practice dancing with the female lead, they were doing it in the room i was doing props. at first I was ok with it then as time passed, the longer I spent in the room the longer I couldn't stand it. but of course, I couldn't just leave like that. as expected we did not talk at all today. there was this point I was laughing at something then our president said 'big deal lorh, anderson one...' I said 'I'm not from anderson, i'm from henderson.' he was in the room but he didn't make any comment. I don't think he didn't hear it because ... everyone knows what my volume is like...anyway... so yar...

I was extremely affected because of that and I was so happy when they finally decided to go out and practice their play. seriously... I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm so sick of this sad feeling. of all people, an ice mountain...


I'm so tired... but I have so many homework undone. and a lecture test for maths on thursday. I passed my econs test! sub-pass though... but yar, my first test in tjc n i passed. (so called lah... sub pass is still a pass =.=) DIE...

wakao...tomorrow chinese drama again. have to go through this gloomy feeling again.

我为什么要选择这样折磨自己
我应该是世上最笨，最愚蠢，最白痴的女生
为什么那天我要去选那颗蓝色的星星

I don't know if it's because I'm in a pms mood now or what... But yay, I just spent half the night snapping at people and getting irritated at everything people say. YAY... =.= OMG what is wrong with me...

I DON'T KNOW maybe it's because PW totally sucks... I have never ever hated a subject more. OK, I still hate maths more... BUT STILL PW SUCKS. It's a bloody waste of time & it's super duper crappy.

UGH lyk I said, PMS mood. Throwing-tantrums-prone now...

Tml no chinese drama. I have 4 tickets for saturday 5th may, 2 tickets for sunday 6th may. Duno who will be going other than huiyi. hweeli havent confirm, eunice oso havent confirm. UGH. my family is going. =.= when i'm not acting... so weird.

I think it's cause he's there. anyway, the meeting on wednesday turned out to be a night run. it was from 3 to 9pm. so i took a cab home. You know, throughout the whole 6 hours... wenfeng & i didn't say anything to each other. except when I had 2 move 3 chairs with only 2 hands. & I moved 2 already, was going back to get the last one and he helped me to carry it. I was quite shocked. 'Thank u.' No reply... Ok...fine then

then during the dancing scene, they played Liu Xing Hua Yuan (meteor garden)'s song... perfect moment. OMG I love that song! It reminds me of Hua Ze Lei & Shancai. You know, since i watched e show I'd dreamt that one day I could do that!!! so romantic..

But for his case, it wasn't romantic at all.. It was so FUNNY! MUHAHAHA! it's like... they dance until so darn weird that the atmosphere isn't there at all. & we were all laughing. even the couple dancing themselves were trying hard not to laugh. Even though I knew they were obviously only acting... I couldn't help but look away when he asked her to be his girlfriend. YES i know reality and show is totally different. but... I don't like to hear that sentence from him when I'm obviously not the one he is saying it to. Then after that I still had to move props for the 3rd play.

we ended at 9pm. & i hailed a cab back because it was really too late. imagine what time i'd reach home if i took bus and mrt. then on the way back, someone sms-ed me. I was like, half-dead so I checked it with half closed eyes. & I got the another shock because he rarely smses me first. & also because it's been so long since he last did that. he asked me why I joined chinese drama...(our sms is always in chinese as usual) I was angry with him because he acted like he didn't know me throughout. so i said 'OH! You actually noticed my existence! *shocked* I thought I am transparent to you.'

& his reply was so crappy, he totally ignored my sarcasm, 'Other than chinese drama what other cca did you join?' 'LEO club, I love children~I want to help tutor them. why ask?' OhH, i conveniently left out the fact that my name is not inside leo club. For some weird reason. 'oh ya, I think your dancing was erR- ok...' he said 'Oh that's great, I actually thought it was quite bad'

'heex~ actually, I also thought it was rather terrible. It's just that I thought I'd just console you. but you mentioned you don't like to dance, so it's forgiveable. just practice more :) '

I think I am so fake... here I am telling him to practice more when I'd seriously rather he practice less... UGH what is wrong with me. i can't believe i said something so selfish..

PW... ='(

omg last night I had the weirdest dream... I dreamt there was a wedding gift shower. & in my dream, I was engaged to him. OMG I can't believe it lah... I think I am so totally going mad... Save me! but yar, it was so weird & unreal. It took me a while to understand that i was opening presents from my friends because i was getting married soon. =.= & instantly, the me inside me in the dream opening the presents was like, immediately thinking 'Chloe, this is not real. it is obviously a dream.' but it was enjoyable for me to be in that dream. all we did in the dream was to talk to each other. gosh I think I must really miss talking to him. =.= HAIX

OMG I hate PW

We get to miss lessons~! coz of our lit trip to little india. BUT we have to write a poem and a prose when we get back. UGH! I can't write poems!!! =.= but we have to be back for lit lecture and GP... plus I have to meet with my csc group mates in the library after Gp... ='( SOBS... but at least we are gona get stuff done. I still have NO IDEA AT ALL what I am supposed to do for the 'big 17' thingy...=.= I shall ask tomorrow I guess... but I found like... 10 news articles & i'm not sure if they fall under the category of development and challenges that China face.

....

Our learning journey on wed... to the Supreme Court. report to the scope at 2.50 UGH! I will miss pdp. I think... although my pdp is up to 7pm. should I take the mrt back to bedok for like, 1 or 2 hours of chinese drama? i really duno... & please lah, I get to see him in school too, even if we are not temporarily sort of in the same pdp. =.= So ya... should I go back? ....DUNO! =.=

I duno... but UGH 2nd time I am supposed to report & I am already not going. plus... I don't have the president's number. UGH. my attendance! nvm... but then i don't know when is the next practice... =.= UGH this is what happens when you are ill-informed like me...

anyway, props is just slacking 1 lorh. there's nothing seriously much for you to do. although I think we lack a lot of props. like the rose wenfeng is supposed to give a girl... & a comfortable bean bag couch plus... a sort of circular chair.

bringing siwen to little india tml ^^ siwen's only been to anderson sec & seen k-box... =.= poor thing...

UGH work to do.... PI... GPP... Econs... Lit... UGH HELP!

it seems wenfeng was the only one in his group who got C for project work. UGH that's so unfair! I feel so xin tong for him... =( haix... I really hope he can do very well for his A levels...although I have complete faith that he will ^^ afterall, this is wenfeng we are talking about =) the pervertically clever smart guy~XD

I think I will never forgive myself for ever wishing that I can be in the same jc as him...because even up till now... I think... I shouldn't have made such a selfish wish. I really had no idea that it would cost him his dream jc...I really really wish that I hadn't made such a wish.. I swear I totally died of guilt the day he got back his o level results. I will remember that feeling forever...Even if it is fate... whatever the reason why it actually came true.. (I don't think anybody expected it to come true given my brains,'slowness' & stupidity and on the other hand, his brains, cleverness & intelligence) the truth remains that I am a selfish idiot!!!

OMG how will i ever forgive myself...haix..

UGH do you think he will be mad at me if he finds out I am so selfish? ... I think I would be if i were him. =( ok, I am so dead...

我那天并没有看错。。

I went back to school yesterday for chinese drama. & haha... i followed this group of people to an area because I didn't know where to go. the director of that particular play (i think) brought me back to the canteen to see the president. whilst making our way there, we were talking. & she asked me what school I was from. then I said anderson sec. she said, oh anderson! there are 2 people from anderson here. I was like, really? =) nice 2 see andersonians ^^

because I was lookin at the ground I didn't realise anything that these two guys came towards us until they were right in front of us and they said hi. I looked up and got the biggest shock of my life. he said 'hi' and 'ei?' I don't know who that ei was addressed to=.= she pointed out to him where to go. I was still too much in a state of shock to say anything...

ok...maybe they are just friends.

so i walked on with her whilst they went off. & she told me, hey, that guy just now is also from anderson! & i didn't know what to say so I just kept quiet.... =.= so i was given to props. since the roles are all already casted. (expectedly)

& I was assigned the skit that he is starring in. =.= we were supposed to go there to watch their progress and take note of what props are needed, how to move them in and out. & I find it suitable to say that he is a good actor.

I smsed him asking 'I thought you don't have a pdp' he replied 'yes, I am a temporary actor.' WOW... temporary actor and he's the lead actor! =.=

deng...

& we didn't talk. except at the end... when he asked where his script was and I pointed it out to him. but basically we acted like we didn't know each other before this. =.= HMM i shall not pretend that I am unaffected by this. which is exactly why... I didn't want this to happen!!! UGH =( Why does this have to happen??? =.= UGH

YAY I think I really saw wrongly. thankfully =) because... 我的功力好想退步了许多..=.= I keep mistaking other people for him. anyway I heard 70% of tj's last year j1 batch got A & B for PW. hc has 80% (?? not sure) i asked him, he got a C. I was so embarrassed coz i asked if he got A. no. Then i said, oh, B is good too. then he said he got C. I was like... ugh... so I said, ohH, C is good too =)

anyway... my PW group consists of evelyn, (leader) elliot, yvonne and xinya. =) nice people ^^ I hope all those problems that happened during IPW in sec 2 won't happen...=.= I still remember faking survey results cause everyone was like, last minute. & I was just dumped everything in. weirdly enough, I don't mind doing all the work as long as we all do ok. I remember our group got a B or an A. forgot. =.=

anyway, I'm the secretary! so weird right? Chloe the secretary.. when her handwriting is just... *shakes head* haix... never mind~ thankfully everything can be typed out for PW. so yar... =) whee~~

anyway, I've not redone my PI (of which my 1st draft had so much red markings on it) so I can't send it to my team mates to view. UGH. & i need to sleep early today because I have chinese cultural club tomorrow. I have still yet to go. because my friend's friend said that today was not for J1s. ya... so i went to watch 'hotel rwanda.' i think it was quite a sad movie. & I cried at a scene but I forgot which. =.= haha~

UGH! which reminds me!!! you know, you know, you know *super high* we were about to go to the lecture theatre where the movie is being screened when we saw a couple and their family members. they had a table at the scope area and they were signing something. I think they were getting married. IN tjc!!! OMG how cool is that...I think they met there. 哈哈~如果我们结婚的话，我们的婚礼可以在anderson举行~呵呵~我想太多了

=.=

so cool! ugh, i took photos on my hp but I'm using e new com so I'm lazy to transfer. XD anyway, I feel so sian... still haven't read the powerpoints I've downloaded from our matrix. jc is full of such independent learning...=( N i am far from independent lah!

anyway, I am freed from counselling. as in, i don't need to go back at a specific time anymore. I think I'm coping fine now... so I won't be going back for a really long time, I suppose. but i guess I have become better from the 1st time I went... yay~

ooohhhh, we are going to little india on tuesday! for our lit field trip~ weird huh? lit go little india? but our teachers were saying singapore is a boring place. haha! well.. true... remember each time we go out, with linxiu, huiyi and hweeli, yirong, eunice they all .... we will all look at the mrt lines board & go... ugh, this place is sian, don't want to go there, what about this, oh this is sian too.

I bought 'pride n prejudice' vcd! $15.90. omg I am so broke right now I think I might have to starve next week. plus my expenditure has way exceeded the expected one. cause I've been such a spendthrift this week... going to long john's, subway (the meal cost me $10-$11) & buying the vcd. UGH =(

sian... tomorrow still must go school.. on a sat! =.=

siti has a bear too! hers is called Ryan. So we agreed to bring on the same day so that our bears can make friends with each other. LOL! but then... siwen is a bit...OKAY, FINE! not a bit... siwen is dirty. although WTH i really don't understand why!!! I just leave it on my bed and hug it ocassionally while I am reading notes/ doing my tutorials! Why isit so black??? ='( *heart break*

I just can't bear to dump it into the washing machine. even if i hand wash it, *shudders* NO! ugh... what can I do?

Ok, basically we paid $18 plus for this online quiz thingy where we answer a lot of questions about ourselves. & they generate this thingy about us: (the below are my top 5 qualities)

Tang Wei Mun

Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. (true...) You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament-this would be sympathy, not Empathy. (yup) You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings-to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.(are they?? o.O)

Adaptability
You live in the moment.(TRUE!) You don't see the future as a fixed destination. (yar)Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. (so true!) This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. (ya) Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. (ugh, not exactly) You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once. (NO I am not flexible!)

Developer
You see the potential in others. (^^)Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. (ops...) In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. (ugh... I don't..) You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth-a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments-invisible to some-are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. (ISIT??) They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.

Positivity
You are generous with praise, quick to smile, (^^) and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation.(ERR not really... I can be totally pessimistic and emo at times...most of the time actually.) Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious.(wow) Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. (UGH not true...) Your Positivity won't allow it. Somehow you can't quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one's sense of humor.

Context
You look back. (Damn right..) You look back because that is where the answers lie. You look back to understand the present. From your vantage point the present is unstable, a confusing clamor of competing voices. It is only by casting your mind back to an earlier time, a time when the plans were being drawn up, that the present regains its stability. The earlier time was a simpler time. It was a time of blueprints. As you look back, you begin to see these blueprints emerge. You realize what the initial intentions were. These blueprints or intentions have since become so embellished that they are almost unrecognizable, but now this Context theme reveals them again. This understanding brings you confidence. No longer disoriented, you make better decisions because you sense the underlying structure. You become a better partner because you understand how your colleagues came to be who they are. And counterintuitively you become wiser about the future because you saw its seeds being sown in the past. Faced with new people and new situations, it will take you a little time to orient yourself, but you must give yourself this time. You must discipline yourself to ask the questions and allow the blueprints to emerge because no matter what the situation, if you haven't seen the blueprints, you will have less confidence in your decisions. (ohh)

Haha~not very true...

more:

Your Empathy can be challenging because you may become overwhelmed with all of the emotions you can pick up in a day.

You have a natural ability for getting in touch with the feelings of others. Hone this talent by refining the words you use to name the feelings you experience and those you observe in others. Help others name their feelings, as well. People who can name their feelings seem to work better with other people.

At times your Empathy talents can drain you, if you are not careful to develop rituals at the end of each day that allow you to "decompress."

Absorbing others' emotions sometimes leads to experiencing those emotions yourself. Establish clear boundaries between yourself and those to whom you connect.

You are an emotional person, and you need to express your own emotions to someone you trust.

hmM... true...

I was supposed to go for CCC (drama) today but I went to a LEO club meeting & I realised to my horror that my name is not inside the groupings. So I'm like, wondering ...what is going on? so am I in LEO club or not??? =.= UGH. & I left after the meeting because ...I wasn't even technically a member. I really don't get it!!! then I was afraid to go to CCC because I was late...

so ugh...i went home. omg I will be killed for this. but yar...(".) anyway when I was going to the room for CCC, I ...think 我好像看到他。outside the room

后来想想，我一定是看错了。他应该没有PDP吧。而且...世上怎么会有那么巧的事情？不可能的...说我不在乎是超级无敌自欺欺人，我过后一直回想。如果我们一样pdp不只他吧，连我都会觉得很奇怪，很尴尬。而且要不要打招呼还是装作不认识还是一个很大的问题...希望我真的是看错。不然...救命啊！！ ><

唉...这种莫名的难过，无助怎么又油然而生了？我的中国通识班呢，还未交到朋友，或许是因为我在班上好静，静到我很像变成了另外一个人。当然，我并不想这样。可是...唉...我也无能为力，爱莫能助。至于我的分组讨论中国的政治我也不知道该怎么办。虽然我没有后悔修这一科，毕竟其实是有趣的。只不过，如果可以跟同学们熟一点，上课也听得懂多一点，那该有多好。。。

(".)

唉...不谈课业的事了，真是越想越烦。不过，我的朋友的朋友答应星期天教我数学，希望会弄明白前一个学期没有学的东西。=(

haix...

Maybe I should be more friendly and outgoing...

Then again, that's not like me at all although I would rather much have the company of others wherever I am... I suppose this is why I am a complicated character. GOSH if I were in a lit text, the students would bloody hate me. because I'm like this moody, insane girl who keeps contradicting herself and has no firm stand. plus I am super hard to figure out.

kudos to those who have to figure me out. pity them...

Did I mention that I'm doing pride and prejudice by Jane Austen for lit? it's like, courtship! YAY! Miss Nansi was saying that Mr Darcy prides himself on being a gentleman and he was really offended that Elizabeth said that he wasn't one. I was laughing because it was ... weird. HAHA

ok, I have a weird sense of humour...

UGH I hate school. UGH linxiu's TRM course... making mocktails, going on a cruise for a field trip (setting off on her birthday! she's quite upset about that I think) I was asking if we could meet on the weekend before huiyi and her birthday and she was like, see first bah... =.= UGH she broke my heart. *kiang*

Then again, let's all be realistic. do we have time? and would we have drifted apart too much by then? UGH i hope not... =( I will definitely invite my secondary school friends to my wedding. UGH if anybody in their right mind would like to marry me. seeing as I am unattractive and I am a complex character and have no talent whatsoever. 'YAY'. boo.

but yar.. i just met huiyi last week on saturday.. (trying to attempt to do H2 maths at the cafe) after not seeing her for so long!!! UGH the cafe has changed its layout and the menu has changed. some of our favourite food is no longer there anymore!! =( like the waffle ice-cream. =( find that hard to come to terms with.

then I have not met linxiu, hweeli and yirong for so long...MY GOD why can't Anderson's speech day come faster!!! UGH! & I shall thereby have an excuse to talk to him.

ugh... Why is this happening to me...???

and of course, nothing between us has ever gone well. surprise, surprise... are we surprised? ugh, no...(".) but yar, so far our coincidental (OK, not very coincidental actually, at times) meeting along the corridors of the school has unfortunately, not helped in any sense. firstly, our conversation has never exceeded 2 sentences. (ugh, not 2 sentences each. I think it's more of, 1 sentence each, add together = 2) ooohhh yay...boo. & much as I'd like to change my current plight, I find myself powerless and not in any position to do anything. it's just... ugh...=( *frustration!!!*

OOHHH michael has sent me the 'never be replaced' song that is supposed to play when you come to my blog. For some weird reason, it doesn't play anymore. I miss that song!!! but yar, never mind, it gets irritating when I am trying to read my blog in peace.

My blog is so like that of a typical teenager. whee~ complaints, complaints and more complaints. i remember that I was quite peeved when he observed 'you seem to always be complaining.' =.=

*tried hard to regain composure* ugh! at least I'm not sad anymore. now I'm in a disagreeable mood.

very bored... then hweeli asked me to go do. so i made one for myself too ^^ haha~ go to .....http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/211281

I've finished my preliminary idea for pw!!! YAY! HOORAH! (learnt that from my lit teacher X_X ) HAHA! 500 words on the dot... excluding headings and 'please refer to...' I'm so despicable~~

Well, tomorrow puva is having her indian dance syf. good luck 2 her! luv this darling~ XD she's my new 'bf' by the way. she's so flirtatious, she got a real bf, an eyecandy and me! HAHA =.=

okie, i think i'm going mad. probably because i'm in an unusually good mood today and things went quite well for me today. firstly, today my dad drove me to school! that's only for today lah =.= not gona be like that anymore I guess... =( SOBS. cause I brought 4 packs of stuff for the food donation drive thingy.

it's so crappy. my parents refuse to drive me because they say the highway will have traffic jam. in the end, today I reached tj in 20 minutes =.= GEESH! my mother says that my dad's office is near tj but the problem is when he has finished dropping me off he has nothing to do. stupid to go back home then go to work again when his workplace is so near tj. I was like... -__-

=.= so fake

Never mind~~ since I already chose this path myself... ... shall have to live with it. anyway, NUS is in clementi! I think it's as far, if not further than tj... =.= I don't know why but my luck is so much better this week. I've been bumping into him more recently. Not exactly like that for the past 2 weeks. oohhHH!!! today he was wearing spects when I saw him later!! *swoons* although he was still wearing his contacts in the morning during and after flag raising and when he went to maths lecture =.= don't get it... anyway I realise that both of us deserve oscar awards for pretending not to see each other when we obviously saw each other. (because it is practically impossible to miss each other when you are walking towards each other) YAY... =.= okie, i'm going mad. I was a bit moody in the morning. 因为我觉得我们好像绕了一圈，我努力那么久，又回到远远看着他的状态。。。真让人难过。=(

anyway, his spects are frameless~! 好好看啊！我想起我第一次见到他，还有喜欢他的时候，他都还没戴隐形眼镜。虽然我觉得不管他戴不戴眼镜，喜欢的程度是不会改变的，但是，我还是比较喜欢他戴眼镜的样子。^^ 而且我也不经意地想起那年那天抽到他那颗蓝色的星星，我们从相识到现在的点点滴滴。或许因为不想和以前一样，如果可以，我都会主动打招呼。就算他其实不想避开我，如果我打招呼，他没有理由不理不睬啊~

今天我要去GP时，看到他从课室走出来。后来他被前面的人挡住了，我便加快脚步，赶上他，轻轻地拍了他的书包。他转身看到是我，然后我问他为什么没有戴隐形眼镜，他好像没有听到，因为他只是淡淡地笑，说了话(我也不是听得很清楚)但是没有回答我的问题=.= geesh 我说话那么不清楚吗？我看我们有语言上的沟通问题。不过，我真的很久没有开口跟他面对面说话了

好怀念以前一起胡扯的时光！='( 算了，至少今天勉强算有讲到话 ^^ yay~~

argh....econs test on thursday...SIAN... I don't want to fail!!! argh... go study bah ='( SOBS

Name: (Chloe) Tang Wei Mun
Age: 17 going to 18
Bdae: 5th Sept 1990
Spiritual Bdae: 5th Jan 2008
Studying at Temasek JC
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