Well...3 more days...only now does the feeling of going to a jc start to kick in. I don't mean to say that the 1st term doesn't feel like jc. just that... it's definitely not the speed they will be going for the next 1 and a half years. the pace is just much slower than it is supposed to be. HAIX

shall STRUGGLE

STRUGGLE thrgh jc!!

=.=

gosh, i think i'm going bonkers.

so, i've crashed nyjc for 2 days. & I'm really sad because nyjc is so darn near my house and my mum will drive me there and back if i go there. & unfortunately, it's my 3rd choice. so when i appeal...i will not get in. =.= I actually thought there would be a slight chance that I won't get into tjc. then I would naturally not be able to get into vjc (i sort of put it for decoration purposes... #changed my mind and decided not to even give it a try last minute# tjc's cut off will never be lower than vjc's cut off) then I would be posted to nyjc. THEN i realised with a pang that... I selected CLEP for TJC. which means I have 6 bonus. i'll be going in with 4 points. aka...unless RJC and HCJC becum 2 points, VJC becums 3, I will most probably be posted to tjc.

although i'm not very sure yet...

=( HAIX

I don't know why. It's like.. I've been working towards the goal of getting into the same jc as him. if you are near me when i receive my results throughout the whole of sec 4, I don't think there's a time when I didn't cry. because my points are totally not enough to get me into tjc...& all that flashes across my mind is "he will forget me, he will forget me." & then, I get 10 like him. although we have EXTREMELY different reactions, it's enough to get me into tjc. I suppose. (".)

then I start wondering...why tjc? why must I go to a jc just because he is there? Why am I still so bent on seeing him and talking to him? Why? Do I still like him? or is it because i'm so used to liking him that even when I think I like him, I don't know it's out of habit or if I really still like him. when you've always been giving a lot to a person, will you be accustomed to giving naturally because it develops into a habit? then I don't really like him anymore. it's just a habit. A habit to see him ocassionally, sms him...a habit of knowing that I like him. & suddenly all these are taken away from me and I feel really void.

thus i go all out to make myself feel contented again.

it's like a vicious cycle.

like, force yourself to not like, like, force yourself to not like, like...

& I just can't seem to break out of it.

ok, let me put it this way then...

I don't know if i still like him. i'm not going to tjc because of him. (*raises eyebrow in disbelief* OK.. that was way too delusional...nvm, let's just pretend, shall we?) I will concentrate on my studies in tjc. I won't get to meet him much anyway, tjc is so big. (damn true) & I am not his mei anymore. So I should keep my distance from him lest I find myself in a position where I like him and am trying to feel important for the millionth time.

anyway, I am quite upset. because recently more people have been telling me continuously, (& in high frequency) that girls ought to take less initiatives. yes I know that. SADDENING ='( *sobs* thank u for reminding me that I've done everything wrong. I've committed all the possible heinous crimes. SAD. of course i know it's a fact & everyone's just concerned about me. but it seriously just makes me a lot sadder...seriously.

maybe i'd feel better after a good cry. then again, I don't really feel like crying though i'm sad. *frowns* GREAT! now I'm totally nonsensical. =.=

标签： Sad

Well, I went back to Anderson sec 2dae for CNY celebrations... yes, i pon-ed e YJC jogathon at east coast. linxiu was saying tt it's weird y YJ will have deir jogathon at east coast park seeing as it's really far. I know angela went. she said it was really boring. and she felt that the performing arts in YJ are not as good as those in her secondary school =.= really?

(".) I thought CO is interesting? coz anderson sec and my primary school, guangyang primary has no chinese orchestra. so i suppose it is quite fascinating~~ =) but i wasn't there. I pon it what... =.= oh well.. i suppose i'm supposed to feel guilty about not going. but seriously, I totally enjoyed today. although it could have been more fun. but i bet it'd have been worst if i had went to the jogathon. -.-

i feel bad for saying that.. i wasn't there so i can't really comment, can I? (".) well, anderson sec rocks! i love the items put up today. wushu is much more stronger now. it used to be quite ... well, unpopular. there are few members but the people have a lot of potential. Lishan is still as pro. i always remember linxiu n huiyi saying that she is really very beautiful when she doesn't wear her spectacles. COOL! I'm so sad.. u noe, people will only associate things like 'cute' and 'kawaii' (which are basically the same) with me. I am never 'chio' or 'pretty.' =( SAD. although i guess it's quite obvious why.. I'm just not appealing looking. *SOBS* *heartbreak*

anyway, i'm inviting some people to my humble home on tuesday.. ^^ but yar, huiyi and hweeli have lion dance. AAAAHHH =( i was wondering if I should invite my yj friends on the same day. =.= but then won't my house be quite packed.. my house is really small FYI. X_X how arh?

but i feel like inviting them too. hahas~ my house has a lot of bak kwa to eat... ^^ hahas~ let em finish it!!! XD & this year is really weird... my mum normally doesn't buy any new year goodies. but this year... whoo hoo~ XD

hahas~

yum yum~~~
yay! i'm so happy! coz ppl r coming to my hse on tues!!! XD

EXCITED

XD

although.. i must now rack my brains on things to do =.=
haiX

(".)

duno... n i told my mum, she was really happy, but she instantly commanded me to pack my whole room, my wardrobe and my table. =.= as though they'd come in and look at my wardrobe...

anyway, she has forced my precious Siwen to wear this yellow shirt =.= n Siwen looks so... babyish now... =( *heart ache* MY DARLING SIWEN! YOU HAVE SUFFERED!

=(

anyway, Siwen is really dirty now.. XD NOT MY FAULT lah! =X soft toys are like that, aren't they? haix... SAD. shall bring it to dry-cleaning soon

after the CNY performance, I went out of the hall with chewyan. linxiu and huiyi went to find their juniors backstage (i think) then who was i to see but... haix... i was calling huiyi and was preoccupied but chewyan said, "hey, it's xiang wang." I was like, =.= WHAT?!

then i saw that it really was him. obviously my second reaction was "why isn't wenfeng here?" -.- ok, very expected right...? (".) So i smsed him. turns out his school just ended so it would be quite pointless cause when he reached anderson, everyone would be gone... HAIX

i'm so SAD =(

although I should be going into TJC *prays fervently* I think 90% chance...BUT... I last saw him on my sweet 16th birthday. (was really sweet! XD hahas~) which was 5th september... it's been... nearing 6 months.. omg.. i know it was for a long time...but not THAT long =(

feels like a millenium really.. i think we just don't have fate or something. oh gosh...it's kind of possible we're in the same school and we don't get to meet at all.. because we have no fate =.= i'm not talking about during events of course.

anyway, the VJC uniform is SO NICE! i heard from chewyan that lanli is in VJC. i'm so envious... =( haix.. *SOBS* i really want to crash VJC for 1 day... XD 1 day!!! to fulfill my dream. but unfortunately, those in VJC aren't very close to me. so yar...SAD

aaahhhh

i just want to go in for a day! 1 day!!

=(

saddening

oh well~~ =(

*sighs* never mind, it will be worth it. VJC is so stressful. no 3 jc!! =.= I will just die amongst all the smart people because i'm really stupid. *sobs*

we went to amk central after that. then yirong followed huiyi to tenchi to look at comics. chewyan n i went to buy bread for lunch. then we met up at jubilee where we watched 'Epic Movie'. yirong went home cause she was really tired. it's quite dumb really.. but certain parts are quite funny. but yar, none of the parts made me laugh like mad. =.= which is quite terrible. because i laugh at practically everything..

well, i'm at least after school posting is released, i can see him. i hope... =.=

hahas~ although I do find myself falling more deeply in love with VJC as each day passes by.. I really don't think it wise to appeal to VJC. using choir? insane... i can't exactly sing well... =( SAD using academic? insane!! my results have always been really bad especially in sec 4 (excluding the actual o levels itself)

my father told the TJC vice-principal about our students doing badly for prelims then making a quantum leap for o levels. then the vp said that he did not understand why anderson has to jeopardise our students. if they cant make it to a jc for the 1st month, then they will miss out on like, 1 term. it will be tough to catch up. HAIX

oh well...

i guess... being in anderson has taught me one thing... never give up hope! hahas~ although... I never stopped hoping I can get 10 or 11...part of me had already resigned to fate. especially after the prelims. haix... oh well~ at least it proves that flunking anderson's exams and tests doesn't equate to flunking e national exam. XD lucky i'm in anderson!! ^^

i love anderson sec!!! can't wait for speech day~~~ =) where i will be wearing my jc's uniform to anderson! although tj's uniform is green ='( *sobs again* WHY?! why green of all colours? VJ's is white, so COOL! e guys look so handsome and smart in white! (no offence to any jcs whose guys uniform are not white) but.. anyway, that's just my opinion. everyone's entitled to their opinion. ^^

i have yet to buy the yjc badge as a memento. i have no idea where to get it =.= HAIX

must they make buying the badge so hard?

I want to collect all the jc's badges! although I think i will have a hard time collecting... =.= never mind, i can always try~~ XD

yar... for my jae form... after stoning for darn long and thinking for hell long... i decided not to even give vjc a try. imagine...

if i put vjc 1st choice. i don't get in, i'll be darn happy coz i noe i din give up my dream.is vjc dun want me. but den if i get in...i will be so darn at a loss... coz i wana go tjc... (i tink mostly is because he is there) den nid 2 appeal and all that... so troublesome

so might as well put tjc 1st. i put vjc 2nd btw. coz i felt tt i had 2 include in sum how. haha~ but it's quite lame lah, coz if i can't get in2 tjc *TOUCH WOOD* i won't be able to get into vjc...

anyway, so yar... i'll 90% be going tjc alr. unless u're telling me 4 pts oso cant get in...=.=

doubt it...

i heard tjc got no flexible combination. but wenfeng says that u can choose very weird combinations. indirectly suan-ing me that i'm taking weird combis lah! *pouts* HAIX

i duno..i'm afraid i haf 2 take subjects i don't like...

=(

tt's the most saddening thing. just like A maths. although somehow it turned out to be a B3... (i suspect something seriously went wrong) but yar... it is a B...& all who know me will know how much i 'LOVE' A maths... i love it so much that i can cry while doing A maths sums.

HAIX...

duno how...

but since i'll like, definitely end up in tjc... no point brooding over the fact that vjc's uniform is so much nicer. no offence XD

but u gota admit lah, it's true!!!

anyway, i realise tt the people in yjc r really nice lah... shall be so sad to leave.. but I will adapt 1!! XD

haha~

trying 2 cheer myself up here...

anyway yesterday was so tiring. i pon-ed school. went to this temple to pray for a divination lot. and got 'coped' $10... SAD... *heart aches for my money* haix.. anyway, i was asking if i should go to tjc and whether me and him will have an ending. and yar... it as a good lot. shang shang qian~~ =)

so yar... i dun tink it's really 100% true lah. but it sort of made me feel a teeny weeny bit better. although when i went home i still didn't noe how. & i had gone to his hostel after that.. i didn't noe tt duman high is under going renovation so no school already, on the day i went. no wonder nobody stopped me when i went in. but e hostel is not moving. & i must say, e hostel really looks quite nice ^^ haha~

then i asked him in sms if i could leave the thing with the guard and ask her/him to pass to him. u noe... he said sumthing lyk "what do u mean? if u want to give me a present, forget it. there aren't any festivals." I was really sad lorh... i think he was deliberately trying to forget lah... anyway i bought liquor chocolates for him. $20. *heart ache*

but i went anyway. took mrt to aljunied, take 158 bus. yar... den i found out tt there's a guard house at e back. so i went out and walked all the way to the back. carrying my heavy bag and walking under e hot sun. so i went to the guard house. and the guard asked me to call him. I had the feeling tt if i called him, i'd just yar... get a good dressing down. and then we will quarrel again. =.= HAIX so i just sms him n told him when he's free later, he can go down to the guard house to take. i waited some time for his reply. den i realised tt he wasn't gona reply. i thought he was angry with me. because i was a bit stubborn. he clearly said no need to give and yet i still went. then the guard finally accepted the fact that he knows the gift is here and let me leave it there. =.=

so i left feeling really dejected and seriously doubting if i ought to put tjc...at all...then i reached home and while i was sleeping, he smsed me saying he got it already and thanked me for the chocolates. i was so happy that he wasn't angry with me. then i apologised for not listening to him coz i was already reaching when he told me not to give.then he said, no lah, thank you. you're always giving me stuff and it makes me feel very bad.then i came out with a lie that i bought 10 of the same thing for my friends. o.O

so fake lah. i think he would know that it's not true... but he didn't say much. so i just took it that he doesn't really wana care too much. o.O well... but after that i felt that we have really... drifted apart.

so maybe going to the same jc will shorten the gap? i sure hope so lah... but it's like... only a short 7 months... =( i don't know, seriously...

but am i expecting too much? haix...我要的只是一个机会。。只是尝试让我陪着他。或许我的要求太多了。偏偏我喜欢的是他这么一个冰山

我真的想今天想了整整一年了。。自从文峰考上了TJC,我天天盼望自己可以突然考好，可以又跟他同校。不是，是自从我认识文峰，我就一直好想和他同JC.但是，现在终于做到了，我真的怕的不得了。我真的好怕，怕我会做出错误的决定，然后后悔，并且还赔上自己的前途或幸福。

哪里才会有离开你的出口？可是我离开以后能往哪里走？

我喜欢文峰是真的喜欢还是，喜欢那么久了，变成了一种习惯？

我不知道

但是我知道我从去年生日至今都未曾看到他。我。。。挺想他的。

怎么办呢？我也好怕见到他会很尴尬。而且。。so near yet so far 真的好痛不欲生

I'm like, deliriously happy~! haha~~ =) guess what I got for my o level? well... guess!!! XD

it's wenfeng's last year's results. 10 points. ^^

haha~~

so happy!!! I was quite pleasantly surprised. But i've been praying for this day ever since wenfeng went into tjc.

10 is raw by the way.

I have 2 bonus for passing higher chinese (SAD, i got a A2 for higher chinese, when i thought i'd get an A1 =( kinda saddening)

2 bonus for cca.

and since i'm going tjc, and i will be applying for chinese lep, i can minus 2 more bonus.

so i'm going to tjc with 4 points.

=.=

should be able to get in lah~~ XD

haha~

vin got 9. raw. can go acjc alr. we both get what we want~~~ =)

well, everybody did well i guess...

onli 99.5% (not very sure) of anderson sec's 2006 cohort could not make it to jcs. (3 people)

and our average msg for L1R5 is... 9.5!!!
we're definitely a band 1 school, & we did even better than wenfeng's batch. (which was supposed to be the best batch)

but i guess it's because some people have gone to throughtrain. =.=

& integrated programme.

^^

but then, who cares? we get what we want, get to be in the top =)

well, basically everyone did well.

congrats to all ^^

huiyi got 12, her l1b4 is 9, so she can go to any course in poly. linxiu got 9, she's going poly too. hweeli got 13, she's going either nanyang or staying in innova. (sad though, coz she got dragged down because of english, c5 =( so sad) then yirong got 9 also. ann got 9 or 8, if i'm not wrong.(I got bad memory! ) chewyan got 6! congrats to this crazily clever girl! haha~ well, weeting, my cousin, got 12. grats to her too~ in fact, almost everyone i know did quite well

gin got 15 though. she's kinda sad, but gona try for nyjc anyway. angela got 10, same as me. but i got higher chinese XD haha~ so i deduct alr become i have less points than her. thank you anderson, for giving me higher chinese ^^ haha~~~I LOVE ANDERSON

melissa got 11. xingni got 13. mengni got 17 (english dragged her down, she got a 7. so sad! but luckily, d7 is considered a pass in polys. and u can still go 2 jc, but u must pass gp in the 1st year. so yar...) then, i duno about the rest. cause they didn't reply me.

i don't think we are staying in yjc.

anyway, i feel like i'm dreaming now. coz i jumped 9 points from prelims to o levels.=.= which is a bit ... "huh? really?"

but yar, i've been dreaming about this day since i don't know when. (feels like eternity to me)

i know it'll be really tough on me, cause tjc is SO FAR! but.. i'm determined to go there. really...

speaking of jumping points, guess how much angeline jumped? 19 points. from 28 in prelims to 9. & she won me some more! LOL!

the power of love lorh! i hope she n qi en are together forever. they are like the model couple, being together for so long already. & i bet they will still continue to be together. LOL~~~

XD

haha~
well, so happy~~ anyway, now i shall list out all my subjects

XD

forgive me, i never get to tell people i did well, you see. haha~

english A1 (YAY)
higher chinese A2 (SAD)
combined humans (lit+ss) A2 (ooh~~)
geog A2 (phew.. do you know, i came out of the hall crying when i finished the paper? i felt that i was hopeless... coz i left the 'sand dunes' question almost entirely blank)
E maths A1 (YAY)
A Maths B3 (OMG YAY!!!)
Physics B3 (YAY!!! =X )
Chem B4 (YAY!!!)
Chinese -took last year but still counted 1- A1 =)

so yar, l1r5 10

whoo hoo~~~

YAY

anyway, bought valentine's day gift alr

buying audi clothes 4 vin's gift

since we r audi stead =)

YAY

so happy~ i really did it!!!

I'm so worried! I really hope I can get into tjc or vjc... haiz... X_X

shall blog tml for sure (.")

photo of me n my audi dear, Vin =)

sorry i haven't been updating recently... basically, i'm in yjc... life's quite ok... my friends are like, ALL so wacko!!! XD so i'm turning wacko too. (".) but anyway, results will be realeased on this friday... I REALLY hope i can get into tjc..!!! *prays hard*

Name: (Chloe) Tang Wei Mun
Age: 17 going to 18
Bdae: 5th Sept 1990
Spiritual Bdae: 5th Jan 2008
Studying at Temasek JC
Sweet & nice
God's child

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Love
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