finally the performance has ended... have not been doing work for the past 1 week.. =.= simply too late and tired when i get back home at 11 or 12pm.
well, overall it was ok I guess. then again I don't really know how to judge drama performances. went k-box with huiyi last night from 12 to 3am at ang mo kio after e performance and our supper with eunice at S11..(though eunice only drank green tea before she left to catch her last bus)
must really thank eunice and huiyi for coming last night =) I really miss them... X_X I don't know how to express this in words... but yar, basically, old friends are just different from new friends. they seem better to me.
my sis took photos. but they are totally blur... shall put some here anyway.
well, let's be more organised. friday was... just... like that lorh... nothing much... they are still always together. and when we were backstage waiting to go up, I heard people gossiping. seems lyk she's not a scholar, she came with her own money. and she's really rich... once, she like, brought $200 cash to school. and then she lives alone in a condo somemore...
everybody was happy with the flowers. $45.. they are really beautiful. obviously I had to take care of it because they were mine. so had to instruct him and other people handling it to put it in the container so that it'd stand and won't die so fast.
during the performance, when he was going to act, I heard 'go wenfeng!' & I had this feeling that xiang wang and his girlfriend were there.
then during the intermission, xiang wang came to backstage and asked a guy to go down to call wenfeng. I asked xiang wang where his girlfriend was, he said she was here. he asked me what I am doing, props? I said something like, yar, if not i won't be here. then it was quite awkward because I didn't know what to say... I mean...
you know... I am not wenfeng's mei anymore. & wenfeng has a girlfriend. & I duno if xiang wang thinks i still like wenfeng and all that.
then wenfeng came up after quite a long time. then he saw me at the door, so he asked 'are you the one looking for me?' i was like.. =.= 'xiang wang is looking for you.' wenfeng went out and I was standing by the door, keeping it open so I saw them talk. then xiang wang's girlfriend, (also wenfeng's mei) the girl I saw last year when I went to see wenfeng off at the airport also came into view. they asked him if he heard them shout his name. xiang wang was saying that they were really loud. wenfeng's mei said that his complexion looks better with make-up. then wenfeng said his complexion is good in the first place. she was like... UGH and she was like going to faint and hugged xiang wang, smiling. I realised that I seemed like an intruder. she seems to have forgotten me. although we only met once. and it was a really long time ago, so it's really expected.
I closed the door and went back inside. after a while he came back in. we didn't say anything to each other. 
then when everyone went on stage, he was standing with her when they were from different plays...
I don't even know why I care. it's so normal since they are a couple.
then when I was about to go back after it ended, I saw the two of them with xiang wang and wenfeng's friends together...
I don't know what to say anymore
if you ask if I'm sad...
well, when i came out at the end to wave... maybe I was looking really depressed. my sis and my mother asked me about it. I am quite bad at masking my unhappiness... sijie left me a message on friendster: 'u look so tired/depressed when u walked out on stage ytd.'
I felt happier last night even though... we didn't talk at all. I went to the guy's dressing room. he was in the girl's. I thought we wouldn't meet then he came in. I was sitting on the chair he put his clothes so i got up immediately and was quite lost walking around before i chose a seat where I could avoid seeing him. which was quite hard. cause I can only sit on the same side as him or opposite him. plus the room was super small. then he went out after a while to sit outside on the chairs. because it was too noisy i think. I was finding it unbearable. but I found it tough to talk to him...
the 2 of em keep going backstage when they are not needed. and irritatingly, they have to be so near me. so of course I move away deliberately. I really don't want to see or hear anything...
then after that I met eunice and huiyi. huiyi helped move props and eunice was carrying siwen and the flowers. siwen saw every part except the dancing part, according to eunice. thank u guys~ I don't really know what's the point. maybe it's because... siwen hasn't seen him in such a long time...& I don't think there will ever be another time...
I felt so much more cheerful after seeing them. I don't know what I'd be like last night without them. had fun in k-box, singing... 2nd tym siwen was in k-box...amazingly i didn't cry even though there were a lot of sad songs...
woke up quite early at around 12. (I slept at 4am...) then i was watching e zuo ju zhi wen. and i began crying at parts that I never used to cry at...=.=
I think I am losing myself
15:09
then when everyone went on stage, he was standing with her when they were from different plays...
I don't even know why I care. it's so normal since they are a couple.