I spent $248 in total. & I didn't even buy shoes! I'm wearing my choir shoes tomorrow night.
haha~
oh well, this shows that last minute shopping sucks.
& my gown has to be altered. have to go collect it tml in the afternoon
what a rush!!!
oh welL...
hope it'll be worth it.
18:36
2006年11月19日星期日 --
haiX... the 19th
Well, today is the catalyst to our 'splitting of ways'...he flew home to chengdu this morning, I think...
(".)
how would i know... as if i would dare to ask him after the quarrel over me seeing him off. =(
oh well...
Of course, like last year, I miss him...
& like last year, I'm wondering if I'll ever see him again. & if we'll totally drift apart. haiX
how could this happen to me AGAIN...?!
Oh yar, it's because I still like him
...
haiX
I thought I would be able to forget. apparently, not exactly...
perhaps I need more time... *sighs*
I suppose so...
Don't get stuck on the regret of what should have happened. forgive others & forgive yourself...
I suppose I can't do anything to right the wrong...who knows, this wrong might turn out to be a right...
although now... memory still hurts...
it just hurts lesser than that night....
& Yet I still hope that I can get into TJC...
ironic and kinda pathetic huh?
I guess it's all up to fate now...
I just hope that it can show some mercy...
i would be eternally grateful
20:45
2006年11月18日星期六 --
YAY! It's the holidays!!!~~~~
Yay, It's the holidays!!!!
HuRRAY, finally o levels are OVER! O-V-E-R, OVER!
YAY!
although I still think I did badly for Geog, sadly....
but yaR...
it's over...
& now we dun haf to think about it until next year when we get our o level results back
YAY!
finished my exam on thursday. After chem and A maths...
then me, linxiu and huiyi went to sakae. & I ate so much I came out bloated. but we spent like, $100... (that was before the 10% discount) That's so freaky...
so paiseh
(".)
then we walked around...
damn tired
I bought "high school musical" the movie. & man, it's actually nice, as in the songs are great.
^^
I watched it till 2am in the morning then went to bed and woke up at 6 plus.
went to linxiu's house to teach her how to play the sims 2
then we went to Lot 1 where she bought a box for her friend. & then we ate and went to the library where I tried to borrow books and i realised that my ez-link couldn't be used to borrow books. I tried linxiu's too. apparently... it's not just mine. suppose it's to do with us being sec 4s. so I had to use linxiu's library card
anyway, we went to popular and I bought this book which cost me $10 or so
haiX
then I bought a small bouquet of a pink rose for my mother. it has this cute little turtle soft toy on it.
I still haven't found what i'm going to wear for the grad ball
It has to be love at first sight! FINE, maybe I'm a bit picky...(".)
09:37
2006年11月15日星期三 --
Tomorrow is my last paper
Tomorrow is A maths and chem...
last papers
actually... part of me doesn't want o levels to end...
Actually, i shouldn't be here because I haven't exactly studied for chem. In fact, after prelim, I barely touched it. (".) Oh well...I doubt it'll be worst than physics. erR- actually, now i don't know...
but yaR
it's the last day of o levels tomorrow. So basically, I'm not exactly in a studying mood
& what pains me is the realisation of the fact that next year I will never see him again unless a miracle happens and I can make it to TJC.
& VJC's cut off is lower than TJC. =harder to get in
=quite impossible=need miracle
....
oh welL
But isn't it worst to see him & not be able to talk to him...
.....
why am I here again?
oh yaR...
I'm extremely tired. I actually contemplated not going tomorrow. but then i had already taken chem pract. & A maths 1
so I will automatically get an F9
YUCKS
....
no thanks
still take
haiX
haiX
siAn
going to eat sakae sushi with linxiu and huiyi tomorrow night. lx's mother is treating us... so nice... but honestly, i feel quite bad about it...
I miss K-box.... then again, I'm afraid going to K-box will remind me of him
oh gosh
everything reminds me of him
saddening
....
haiX
then there's grad ball. Have no idea at all what to wear
& where to buy
.....
siAn
.... .....
haiX
why am i wasting precious time here?
I'm not myself
22:58
2006年11月12日星期日 --
yay yay yay
ok, i probably shudn't be here now. but yar, i'm bored.... & my studying is progressing at a snail's pace...(".) still got chem & A maths. I suppose i'll read through A maths a bit. practise a bit then read chem tomorrow. try to finish physics today, revise on and read through geog on tuesday. I messed up geog paper 2 big time. because my mind went blank. i really duno what got into me. but yar, so I was devastated after that. then I went to E maths tuition and did some e maths paper 2 and I calmed down and realised that.... seriously, I can't help it. the paper's already done, is going to be sent to cambridge for marking. there's no point grieving over it. guess I got my answer from heaven...
yet this part of me still really wants to go to TJC...
duNo...
oh btw, I think we're still friends. I was quite sad, because I thought not being his mei anymore meant that... we couldn't talk, I couldn't ask how he was doing and all that... and of course, not being able to meet.
then I saw him on Qq. erR- was trying to avoid him. he went offline then I went online. he went online again, i went offline. then he went offline I went online again. then he was online, i went offline. later, he caught me and he said 'hi' to me.
that was like, 11 plus at night.
we barely talked because he was tired and was going to bed but... he doesn't sound angry with me or anything. in fact, it feels like I hadn't told him I could be his mei anymore...like last time... *sighs wistfully*
but yaR, obviously I still regret doing that. slightly.
it's just less saddening now.
it's like... I've lost a kor I can talk to...not forgetting crap with.
argh, I'm going to start missing him seeing where this is going..
stop, stop, STOP!
ok...
oh well.. I'll just leave it to my o level results. what's the point of hanging onto something when you can't even do something so basic such as seeing him? anyway, if I can make it to TJC, i suppose I won't force myself to forget him. just let everything take its course. but I shall stop doing stuff for him. I think I've already done enough. & I realise that it's important to put yourself in others' shoes and not always want things to be done your way. & obviously, me being so nice is sort of - making him feel awkward.
so yaR...
well, shall have to take some getting used to. each time i go shopping I see something and I think 'this will make a good gift for him'
haiX
sobs
hy's right...my life revolves sorely around him
how can i be so pathetic?!
btw, he watches goong too!!!
on computer... how unexpected!!! I was wondering if he realised the uncanny resemblance bewteen the way he and xin acts. so leng mo!!! too bad he's not my 'xin jun.' and I'm not his 'cai jing' ah well.... what can you do....
20:06