Aaaaahhh.... Oh well... it's no big deal... I thought a lot of people should have gotten in but apparently, jamie teo and jeff wang don't think so... I sang 如果有一天...and I only sang a few sentences before i was sent off... hm... (.") oh well... never mind. at least i saw junyang up close. and he's really handsome... really really... =) for e picts i took of him, plz visit http://www.freewebs.com/chloe_xiao_wen/index.htm (my website...) Er- I may have loaded them by then hopefully...
But then again, i'm quite disappointed... Oh well~ at least now i know how tough it is to be a singer. =( i went to queue up at 8.30. the competition starts at like, 10am. and when my mum let me off at the traffic light to the bus interchange, i saw this long queue outside j8 outside DBS bank... hell! the queue was so darn long. And we only went in to sing at 2.45++pm. about 6 hours of queuing... i can't believe i actually did it...
and after we left, I spotted 竞之学长...hm... someone was telling me that if he was nearby, 文峰may be there... 文峰哥哥doesn't like to come to J8, according to what I know...(.") really unlikely...I'm just really tired...
Then again, this made me realise that my stage fright doesn't exist.... I was only really afraid because of 文峰哥哥's presence during the auditions for the chinese talentime this year...I wasn't exactly as nervous then. even though there were a lot more people. but then- some are quite good and they didn't get in either... wonder if they really do judge on looks...
enough about my dream to stardom being crushed. well, i'm leaving for chengdu on the 24th of nov in the morning... wonder when 文峰哥哥is going back... (.") anyway, i've not seen him for some time already...HAIZ...
今天早上懵懵懂懂去学校时，走到要上楼梯的地方，转弯时隐隐约约看到文峰哥哥插身而过，他正往食堂走去...我那时有点迷糊，所以没有大招呼，而且我们两个都走得很快，我觉得他没有看到我...当时没有戴眼镜，不过我应该不会认错人吧？文峰哥哥的身影我多么的远都看得到，认得出， 不是吗...？可能是因为从那么久以前就开始注意他慢慢一点一滴累积出来的吧？尤其是他的背影...因为我以前都是比较常常看到他的背影...因为我都不敢跟他说话，虽然非常想多了解他，认识他...我好久没有看到他了...听过这句话吗？Absence makes the heart grow fonder... 大概意思就是说人如果隔了一段时间没有见面，就会更珍惜，更想念那个人吧...没看到还好，因为我会认清一点，就是我们以后是不可能像以前在学校里碰面了...然后可能久而久之就会认命了...但是，让我看到他，我觉得突然好伤心，好沮丧哦...='( 以前，不管我们几乎没有正面讲上多过十句话，而且有时他对我可以说是非常不友善，但是起码我能够远远望着他...不知道何时，在学校时注意他已经成了我的习惯...不知何时，我这个习惯已经改不了了...现在我把他当哥哥还是我喜欢的人我自己非常搞不懂...但是，我应该死心了吧？我那时被拒绝已经那么久了...我从来都不会放不下的...虽然常觉得好难忘记...但是，其实我和之前喜欢过的人都没有什么太多难忘的回忆，不是吗？我的初恋，我们根本没有一起出门过...而且，那时的我，根本不知道“我爱你”这三个字的沉重...还有“我喜欢你”意味的事...当然，我曾喜欢过的人我每一个都记得，都记得每次哭什么的...喜欢文峰哥哥的时期，是我会一直记得的，因为...我哭得最多了...! 呵呵~真的...而且我的records里哭得最惨的一次是为了他...
Mr lim was really angry with us today... Maybe it's because a lot of people didn't bring their a maths text book... I think he's being unreasonable... And he changed everybody's seats. Yes, EVERYBODY! And I am so far away from Lin Xiu, Huiyi, Hwee Li... But at least i'm luckier... I have yirong... but i'm right at the back! and i don't think i can see... never mind. let me see tomorrow. if i really can't see, i don't think i'll concentrate and listen. ='( it's weird... mr lim separated all the good friends except me and yirong. he knows that i talk a lot with yirong... it's just- weird... hm... hwee li is sitting next to abel. god bless her... haha~ i'm so bad... huiyi is now beside natalie, she swapped places with lin xiu. mr lim only said that it's temporary. once her glasses are fixed, he insists that she changes back. =( what the- so, lin xiu now sits next to anna. and i'm really far from them. ian sits next to eunice now. he must be rejoicing and opening a champange bottle. today we held a mini celebration at the coffee shop... kinda weird. and we managed to put a candle in the muffin and eunice blew it out after we sang her a happy birthday song. then, we ran back. huiyi vomitted a bit on the way back. I didn't see... because i was very right ahead with yirong... and when we went to the classes, we were perspiring madly.
and band 3A has a lot of people rising to band 2 or even 1... Er- ok... so, obviously, we have to drop down... =( .... .... I don't think there's any hope in being in band 1... never mind. i don't want mrs goh to teach me anyway. she's- just... ancient. and boring... and she never appreciates my english. (not that my english is really superb and all that but- STILL...) I just hope i will at least be in band 2 with lin xiu. =( i don't want to go to lessons alone. it's a terrible feeling...
I'm just so... empty now.
I feel like a null human shell...
And recently, nothing seems meaningful anymore. I'm even starting to not like going home... for some reason. i just ... don't feel like going home... even though there's nobody with me and i feel sort of lonely at times, but still...I'd rather walk around all day outside. I don't know... maybe it's a good way to let myself calm down and ponder or day dream. I suspect that i'm turning into an introvert. and that... isn't really good... =( haiz...
I can't help feeling depressed. I hate saying goodbye... I wonder what will happen next year when we all graduate after sec 4... I really ought to treasure every single moment i have with everybody...
why is it that we only realise what we have when we have lost it?
不过呢，认识文峰哥哥后，我觉得我好像认清了一件事情，就算是男女朋友，最主要的是能够和他相处，讲话，谈天说地，了解他...还有，爱情是盲目的...哈哈~没有啦，因为我眼中的文峰哥哥嘛...呵呵~其实说实话，是个不怎么爱讲话的帅哥..哈哈~我是诚实的小孩...呵呵~但是，其实文峰哥哥比我还多话...我是在比那天啦...不过，其实那天我好像超级少话...还有，认识不久后，他那时对我时好时坏，所以我就接受了hwee li给他取的名字，“冰山...”因为他那时有时候真的是超级冷漠无情！但是，其实他挺幽默的，而且就是...跟他讲话时好容易哦...it's just so easy to talk to him...所以，其实我喜欢他的时候对他的看法几乎都是错的...除了他很喜欢篮球，挺幽默，很有墨水...所以，喜欢一个人时，会把他当成白马王子，几乎是完美的...但是，当然，没有人是完美的...呃...而且其实我以前对scholars呢，可以说是几乎一概不理...而且从来不跟外国的学生交流，不知道他们的文化，离家的感觉，对他们没什么兴趣...但是，其实他们的一切都很有趣...所以学到了好多，也可以说是因为文峰哥哥更加努力的去主动认识他们...我当然在指prc scholars咯~呵呵~我突然觉得我真的挺贱的...=P 哎哟...不过呢，我发觉是没有用的...我是指我以前还喜欢他时设法接近他身边的人的事...没有用的啦！有时间接近他们好不如用来去多跟你喜欢的人讲话？呃...我干吗谈起哪招有效，哪招没有用啊？！哎哟，我扯得真远...
总之，我会很想他...='( 以后没有人听我胡扯了！
诶？不知道他回去有没有带走我送的篮球，“文”啊？(.") 改天问他好了...
21:41
2005年11月6日星期日 --
I now have a digital Cam!
I now have a digital camera... It's not exactly very great and all that.... But then, still... It's better than nothing... And so, i'm bringing it to chengdu to take photos... I love digital cams... U can "zi pai" and erase all those that turn out horrendous... Haha~
Anyway, i now have my own website... but I've only done 1 page... haha~ http://www.freewebs.com/chloe_xiao_wen It's not finished yet...! Mainly because i got sick of loading the picture into the blog... BECAUSE it always fails to load... and i can't put photos in my blog entry...!!
I'd best be going... Going to put more photos in my friendster profile...
I was just looking at my testimonials in friendster.. And read wee ting saying that she wants to meet my kor... HM... I don't think she has the chance... *CRIES* I don't even know if I'll ever see my kor EVER again... I loathe partings! I don't enjoy saying good byes...! Why do people have to part? Things can't ever stay the same, can they? Ok, actually... I will... Because I will be receiving my o level chinese results along with all our current batch of sec 4s...(they have not graduated yet)
And no, I am not going to the grad ball... Liting was asking me when I confirmed with her the date it is being held... 23rd of november GEESH! I'm not a sec 4... *sobs uncontrollably* 文峰哥哥穿西装时会很帅！never mind... I shall not be reminded of this totally disastrous fact that I will not be there to see...
='( Never mind...
Am I really childish? I have only realised it on this Monday after I told Chew Yan what happened after she left that day... Actually, i think it'd be better if she'd just go read my extremely long entry... It's a bit too detailed...And she said that the way I describe wenfeng is like he's a kid. then, she realised that it was because i was talking like a child...! Am i really SO childish...? Agnes and liting said it's true...! I suddenly think that I have maligned wenfeng kor... because I am childish, at least to others....! So, i shouldn't have been so angry with him the time he sort of insulted me. (ok, i exaggerated... he didn't insult me... he just asked me "why are you always sending such immature messages?" which is indirectly an insult! ) But then, since everybody says i am childish, it must be true... so, i have to apologise to wenfeng kor. not that i'll ever get a chance...
And I was scolded by chew yan. for returning wenfeng the $12.20... because she said that i spent a lot of money buying gifts for him, especially that very expensive basketball... so he OUGHT to treat me. hm... I don't know.... i'm regretting why i hadn't dragged him to swensens'... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha~
Ok, i was just kidding! and being lame too... (.")
I'm leaving for chengdu on the 24th of november, early in the morning. I think the scholars are going back on the 28th... I doubt i'll be able to say goodbye to wenfeng kor on the day that he is flying home. I will be in chengdu. and chengdu is not exactly very small... so, i don't think there's any chance that we will be meeting... Sigh... if only I had the good luck of wenfeng kor showing me around his country... I seriously doubt it... Sigh...
我觉得好空虚啊！It's not like he's going back to china forever... he'll return in jan, i suppose, for his first 3 months at a JC... 7 points... wonder where he's going...? then, he'll get his results and go to his JC... and I will be taking O levels and studying in Anderson. I don't think we will meet again...
AND i STILL don't have a satisfactory picture of my kor!!!!
How am i going to open my mouth and ask him to take a neoprint with me?!
o levels... so stressful... what else can i do for him...? i feel sort of useless... ='(
21:11
url@blogspot.com ]]♥
♥ Me
Name: (Chloe) Tang Wei Mun
Age: 17 going to 18
Bdae: 5th Sept 1990
Spiritual Bdae: 5th Jan 2008
Studying at Temasek JC
Sweet & nice
God's child
♥ God Grant Me
Good grades
Love
Acceptance
Nice clothes
Nice bags
Idol dramas
More time
More sleep
19:00