YoU weRe mY evErYtHinG...NoT anYmoRe

2005年12月7日星期三 --

Yay~

I'm feeling kinda happy now~ because after rotting at home earlier in the morning, i was really very bored and sianz with being stuck at home... (.") bleah... then, my mother decided to bring us to go to Kovan heartland mall... because her This Fashion card is like, expiring at the end of this year, so she wants to use up all the points before it expires... haiz... typical singaporean... not that it's not good though... i get to buy clothes! =D major good! haha~ =P bleah...

so, we obviously drove there... been so long since i went there... i used to go there for e-maths tuition... my sister has started tuition already.. me? haha~ *nervous chuckle* i'm too lazy... i'm starting in january, though i seriously doubt that i'll be able to catch up because i'd have already missed 4 lessons... haiz... =( but i'm still in a slacking mood... so i haven't touched my holiday homework... didn't even realise we had homework until lin xiu so kindly reminded me... now, the words "u haven't done ur homework!" are like constantly bugging me... seriously... I love my mp3 player... and we bought wrappers at like, 20 cents each... they're not really nice though, so... no wonder it's so cheap... i particularly liked the one with cute little bears on it... =)

then, we made our way to Burger King to wait for my sister. she'd call us and then join us later, supposedly... then... we realised that ... burger king is no longer burger king...! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! Yes... burger King had vanished! ok, i'm being dramatic again... (.") but then again, i can't deny the fact that i was shocked.. as in, seriously shocked... burger king! I always used to go there after tuition or before tuition to have dinner...! and eat the delicious hershley's chocolate pie sold there! my mouth waters even as I think about it...

i just downloaded dragostea din tei! it's such a nice song! I love it! =) it's the original version of guo mei mei's bu pa bu pa... it's in another language and it's very nice!! at least nicer than the guo mei mei's version... It's so NICE! =P bleah...it's sung by O-zone...even though i copied the lyrics down, i still can't sing it... (.") it's another language after all... but it's nice!

anyway, yar.. burger king has been changed to some weird posh restaurant... so, we changed plans instantly and decided to go to KFC... haiz... to think i was looking forward to enjoying the delicious mushroom swiss double burger... ok, i know i'm like- fat... but yar...

side-track for a while... today, i met Defeng xue zhang online... and he talked to me... ok, i'm so bad lah... because now, i wait for people to talk to me before i talk to them...then he was telling me that he saw Xiang Wang xue zhang on the street a few days ago with his arm around a girl around his age. and he was smoking. And he personally felt that the girl was ugly and obesed. ok.... let me absorb this infomation for a while...

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OH MY GOSH! i can't believe this! Xiang Wang xue zhang smokes?! ok, u know that time i went to chengdu, we saw a lot of people smoking...and guo zhang, my uncle...(er- i think should be uncle lah... he's the younger brother of my father-in-law... and obviously, i'm talking about my fake family) He was like- so many of the people here smoke! and my daughter, yiyin, was like, "hello?! it's CHINA!" and it made me wonder why she said so... and now, i finally understand... ok, not exactly... because even our tour guide smokes... but he's nicer... he smokes when he's outside and really far away from us... oh my GOSH! i can't believe Xiang Wang xue zhang smokes... last time i used to treat him with a lot of respect.... ok, that's the understatement of the year... because... ok, let me stop deceiving myself... I admire him. as in, not the like kind of admire... that kind of admire as in like would be wenfeng gege's type...I admire Xiang Wang xue zhang as in... his talent of crapping... (.") ok.. it's a bit lame... but his chinese is so... fabulous and jaw-dropping...! and i always wished that one day i would be able to be like him... so, yar... he's sort of my idol, if u want to say so... (.") so, that sentence has a huge impact on me...

OH MY GOSH! i can't believe it...! =( now, i really wonder if people are really not what they appear to be... this is like, so totally scary lah! does wenfeng gege smoke too? i don't really approve of people who smoke, frankly speaking... I remember that once, i was interested in someone in primary school...then, i realised with a shock that he smokes... so, i totally lost interest.... ok, actually, Xiang Wang xue zhang is like, 18... so, he's of age and he's allowed to smoke, I think... (.") and he's not my boyfriend or my kor or in any way related to me so i shouldn't care so much... but then! i can't believe it!

as for Defeng xue zhang saying that the girl is ugly, i think it's his standards that are high... afterall chengdu has a lot of mei nvs... oh my gosh! chengdu has a lot of mei nvs...! I feel extremely threatened... i'm like, so ugly... *sobs, cries, wails and weeps*

ok, enough about that side-tracking... i just suddenly thought of it... actually, i've been thinking about it practically all day... i'm still having trouble absorbing and coming to terms with this... I don't think Defeng xue zhang would say such things if it weren't true... maybe the ugly and obesed is untrue.. because chengdu is like below 10 degrees celcius and it must be freezing.. (believe me, i know...) and so, people are likely to look like dumplings because they wear many layers of clothes... bleah...=P geesh... really lorh! i looked totally like a dumpling!

i'll like post my photos... it's so gross lah! because i wear a thermal top, then a sweater, then a jacket.. and i wear thermal pants before i put on my jeans... i looked in the mirror and i almost cried.. because my feet look like pigs' trotters! ='( never mind... obviously, i tried to ignore it... because between freezing to death and looking fat, i'd rather look fat then take off the thermal pants... because my jeans are totally not able to keep me warm at all...! But then... the smoking can't possibly be fake... as for putting his arm around the girl, that er- should be normal too...bah? i can only pray that wenfeng gege doesn't smoke... maybe i should ask him...or i won't find peace...

oh my gosh... ok, back to topic...then, we were at KFC and my sis finished with tuition and came to join us. so, we ordered fish ole... my mother's english is really ... *clear throat* she was ordering food and i was to stand beside her in case anything happens or there's a miscommunication.... and also to double as a translator... poor me... =( but anyway, yar... the cashier was so patient... and kinda clever... she got the orders correct except that she gave me coleslaw instead of mashed potato... so, i just took my sister's since she didn't want it... and we had fish ole burger... yes, the one chew yan loves so much... actually, it's ok lah... not very very delicious....

so, we went to buy clothes! whee~! clothes! i love shopping for clothes! especially at This Fashion... cause the designs are quite nice and they're nice to wear plus MOST importantly, they're cheap! yippeee~! =D hahaha~ so, i like- at one shot, chose 6 tops... haha~and then my sis told me that u're only allowed to bring 3 in to try out... hell.. so, i told her to help take 3... and went in with 3... and decided that the white very gentle and shu nv top was too thin... and practically translucent... so, i eliminated it... and then there was this top that consisted of a spaghetti-striped with a top that's like rather nettish-like outside... and no, it is not revealing, ok?! my mother didn't say so.. and if my mother can accept it, it shouldn't be too revealing...(.") so... yar... anyway, i eliminated it from my choices... and then, i spent the rest of my time choosing clothes... and trying them... and in the end, i bought like, 4 new tops! =D yippee! because i bought 2 new skirts that time... and i have 3 pairs of jeans to match my clothes with now... except that one is like- so darn loose! it keeps dropping...! so, i've decided to tie it with a belt... seems like the only solution anyway... and i can't find a pair of decent shorts i can wear to the choir chalet! i'm only going on 1 day lah, but hell... the shorts i have are... just... erm- not nice... maybe i'll go take a look at the OP shorts.. but they're like- so darn long lah... don't get why people like to wear them... er- no offence meant, OP shorts lovers...=P still... aiyar! i'll just wear a skirt there! it's not as if it's a big deal... i wore skirts to 2-7 chalets before... er- in fact, i was wearing skirts practically the whole time... oh wait... i forgot... evona said that all people who wear skirts are bitches... HELL! what is her problem?! annoying freak... humph~ don't care her... i can't believe her lah! i always wear skirts one lah! does that mean i'm a bitch? i'm NOT, ok?!

ok... relax.. calm down... *breathes in deeply... breathe out... breathe in...breathe out...*

never mind, i shall not talk about things that anger me... anyway, i didn't see wenfeng gege online today...='( ok... never mind...

and to think, yesterday i was saying that i'd talk about my life and try to talk about wenfeng gege less... yar.... ok, fine... u know, i was telling my sister that i do not like wenfeng, i only treat him like a darling kor whom i've always wanted to have since really young... so, he's like my childhood dream fulfilled. but then, ok... apparently, it's not true... i'm deceiving myself and zi qi qi ren-ing... so... yar... FINE! I admit that I still like wenfeng gege... even though i call him wenfeng gege... which means he's my "brother" and i'm his "mei" (like he calls me) and i shouldn't be feeling this way.. but hell... who can control feelings?! anyway, it's kinda weird... because i normally give up really easily... especially when the person has so uprightly rejected me... but then... ... i think it's the "mei" thingy... it's made me admire him more and more... and in a way, it's drawn our relationship closer...(though it's not exactly close to begin with) but still... it made it impossible to forget him... seriously, when u want to forget someone, u try not to come into contact with the person...

and yes, so all these times, all i've been saying about admiring him and liking him as a brother... are actually, basically... crap... yar... so, yes... I'm so thick-skinned...he has rejected me, yet... i'm still si chan lan da-ing...haiz...

hey, gotta go watch rumbling hearts~ 88~

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