YoU weRe mY evErYtHinG...NoT anYmoRe

2006年2月1日星期三 --

I'm so sick n tired....

Ok, i'm not exactly sick... but i'm truly tired... though i took a nap just now before dinner... yar, well... it's not good to nap after dinner... (like i used to do) so now, i'm learning from 文峰哥哥...taking a 傍晚觉~

haiz...

well, after the glamorous days of CNY holidays... we have no more public holidays... our common tests are in week 7. and i heard from hwee li that our o level chinese results will be released on the 14th of feb. which is obviously valentine's day... Oh god! i heard that it's either 6th or 7th feb though... (".) haiz... so confusing...

did i blog yesterday?

er- no

ops...

anyway, i'm looking forward to seeing 文峰哥哥... very much...

but then... i don't want to get my results back, see that i get something less than A1 and begin to cry... which is what is most likely to happen, actually... (".)

HAIZ...

and i won't be the only one crying... last year i went to see the results being released... and i saw so many people crying...some were tears of joy... but of course, those who didn't do well and therefore broke down took up the majority...

...

i hope i won't be like them... though i most probably am going to be. judging by how much i'm studying or paying attention in class or how much i'm sleeping because i feel so tired out recently...

anyway, i pray that 文峰哥哥will pass english with a B... ok, fine... i shan't be so greedy... i was worried sick when i heard that the functional writing's task is to write a speech... god! anyway, i sincerely hope that he can still remain in RjC... and he'll get 7... cause it should be enough... and if he gets 6, i have to improve by 8 points!

8 points! i'm no supergirl ok?! 7 is seriously over-estimating myself...!

it's so tiring... i think i need more motivation... the picture plus the speech bubble isn't exactly helping much...

...

i am always half dreaming in physics and geog...

which is so dangerous... cause i'm intending to use these 2 subjects in my R5...

...

scary...

i haven't touched the long essays at all.. miss heng will roast me alive...

i've had it. it's like being in a war in band 1.

i have to fight and stuggle to keep up with everybody else in the class... and with miss heng's expectations... *哭ing* it's so frustrating...

and i have to fight to prove that... i heard that a band 1 who got dropped to band 3 said that he/she wants to see how miss heng vomits blood when she marks our essays.. (as in the band 1 now) so, i have to prove that... i can survive in band 1的 ok?!

this is so ironic... seeing as when i first got into band 1, i was complaining that i don't belong here... (which is still true) but the more i hear such spiteful comments from those ex-band 1s... the more i'm determined to prove them wrong.

though i have this sinking feeling that i'm gona fail... seeing as we have to be tested 1 by 1 on oral's component... only 1 component. and guess what! it's picture discussion. only. sorely picture discussion.

oh my god!

do u have any idea how much i was pulled down because of my sucky oral marks?!

everybody can get such high grades... and look at mine!

now i finally fully understand 文峰哥哥's phobia for oral...

...

and she's bound to start from 4-2...

darn it...

i still have unfinished homework from CNY holidays.. and what am i doing here? i'm... blogging... sitting in front of my compt and wasting my precious time away..

i'm so lazy! and unmotivated.

and i'm procrastinating a lot of things...

i'm sick of studying...

why do we need to study?

to work.

why do we need to work?

to stay alive.

why do we need to stay alive?

duno. we just do.

HELL...

...

on a happier note... polly's bdae is coming! 5th feb. and i'm going to buy the box from e confectionary and wrap it. like i did for teacher's day. miss lim and mr yong's box to put the egg...

=)

finally i can do something right and make something that the other person actually likes...i heard from phoebe that polly likes them. she said that they were nice...

i've discovered that it's very troublesome to have rebonded hair.

my sister made an earth-breaking discovery that i have dandruff... as in, u can see the flakes... oh god..

so. i am now using some "for moisturised and dandruff free" shampoo instead of pantene.... but it's quite good too. i haven't go any tangles actually... but then again, rebonded hair hardly ever has tangles. and i have to use conditioner. imagine what would happen if i don't. seen how dry my hair is? if u have, u'd get what i mean. and then...i have to blow-dry my hair. because it now takes forever to dry by itself.

darn...

someday, i'm gona get sick of taking care of my hair. and i'm gona just go to a salon. and go " i want short hair! " and stupidly regret it after that whenever i look in the mirror.

i showed huiyi my photo last time. when i was young and had short hair. she said that i look quite good. surprisingly. and i remembered that she was the one who said that i'd look horrendous with short hair...

but actually.... why can't i cut short my hair?

i find taking care of my hair so troublesome.... it's probably affecting my studies... seriously. i will cut short my hair during the term 1 holidays. if my results are truly rubbishy. i can't afford so much time to take care of it... it's simply not worth it. i'd rather look ugly for 3 terms than go to any JC other than the one 文峰哥哥is in.

我只想一直的喜欢文峰哥哥。。。

anyway, it's true that RJC is a good JC... and another major point is that i can walk there...

=)

anyway, after he finally makes good his word and takes a photo or neoprint with me... we won't be seeing each other... i think. unless he comes back on teacher's day.

oh god.

i think he'll be back lorh...

i'm dead...

aiyar, never mind... i don't think he'll be able to recognise me.

so... shouldn't really make a diff...~

='( after that... i won't be seeing him for such a long time!

i have to get him to take at least 3 neoprints. and i'm going to take hundreds of photos of him with my digital cam...

ok, i'm so totally digressing...

better go study lah. it's not as if i don't care about studies anymore...

just felt complainy and whiny.

so, here i am whining and complaining...

HAIZ...

never mind me...

=(

go study...

i'm even suffering from insomnia now.

HAIZ...

19:10