YoU weRe mY evErYtHinG...NoT anYmoRe

2006年9月15日星期五 --

hihi

miraculously, my dad din remove the modem. (".) but i haven't been blogging for obvious reasons... P-R-E-L-I-M-S

-.-"

haiX

well.... so far...

bleah =X

haiX

the papers were SUPPOSED to be much easier than normal anderson standard. (.")

at least, it was for chem and a maths. but yaR... I'm very stupiD so... i screwed it up.

n the paper that totally shocked me. that was the understatement of the year. because I was distraught. seriously depressed when I was doiing the compre. OMG WTH

i died in that time. i've never done a paper like this. a paper that would make me feel so useless and doubtful of my english. (although my english isn't THAT good... but still... at least I never got C's in my whole life for english. not that that's an achievement either...-.-") but GOD what was that paper about?! and i screwed up the summary, which was ironically supposed to save my skin.

haiX

so saD

btw, they say that the prelims this year are made to be closer to o level standard. (I don't think so for english... if our compre comes out in o level, i will seriously just drop dead and DIE) did i mention i have to count english because i need the A1 i got from chinese last year. because.... i CAN'T count A maths and chem. so YAR. GREAT. JUST GREAT.

anyway, if that's true, if i still can't get 11 for prelims. i don't think i'd be able to for the actual O's.

AAAAAHHHHH

what the heck....

i'm still trying to get over english. ='( so SAD

haiX

aiyar, E maths. I need that A1!!!

let me go sleep first before i start. this week has just been.... one word. HELL. din get enough sleep at all.

and oh my goodness i am becoming a 'u must mug' freak. even when i sleep i dream of the subjects i'm taking. and i think my consciousness is an extremely powerful thing.

because i hate studying at my desk, i study on my sis's bed or mine. and sometimes....

unfortunately, i doze off. and I don't know what's wrong with me. i never fail to have weird dreams that wake me up. no, they don't exactly wake me up. they scare me so that I wake up. not that it's bad.

but still... I have dreams that are totally weird. i dreamt of a beach with many corpses and skeletons. I dreamt that cockroaches attacked me and climbed all over me. EEEWWW.... gross! I dreamt that I fell off my bed when i didn't. i dreamt i was chased by a giagantic hyena along with my friend, who is faceless. n i dreamt that wenfeng was angry with me and we had a very heated argument. that was the scariest dream. because i din know that i was dreaming. and it felt so totally real. i woke up and was like, oh no, i have to apologise to him. then i calmed myself down and realised that it was just a dream. god... -.-" must have been really freaky because I've never really argued with him. and he's never ever angry. (at least according to him)

and last night I had this really weird dream. but it somehow woke me up too. my dreams don't make any sense. I was somehow outside a room and went inside to see haha.... him, xiang wang and a girl. so, I (in my dreams) quickly closed the door and was quite shocked. I remember that i was smiling and punching the air in my dream. then i went inside. and somehow, i don't know. but it seems like it's those rooms in hostels. and the girl inside with them was my room mate. god knows how i ended up living in a hostel when i have my own home with my family. and i remember that I (in the dream) was elated and i asked him why he was so kind to visit me. he said that they waited for me at school for 3 hours (huh?! doink... where did that come from) so the me in my dreams asked him why. and he said that he wanted to see me because he suddenly realised that we hadn't met for a long time and he and xiang wang wanted to have lunch so he felt like asking me to join them. and he said that he had never treated me to a meal before. he was saying there was this restaurant which offers good food. (haha.... that'll never happen in a million years O_O) and xiang wang was saying that he suggested they come here to wait instead. then, he disappeared off to somewhere. (he like, vapourised for a moment) then the me in my dreams asked wenfeng when he was going back to china. and he said after his exams. somehow, that time, he was already taking a levels. he said the moment he got his results, he'd fly back home, find a job and work until he had lots of money.

the me in the dream sat down on my bed, next to him and i was saying that I wanted to earn enough money so i could retire early. i asked if it was so for him and he said he was studying very hard so that he could get a degree and a good job because he had to.then all of a sudden, xiang wang reappeared and was telling both me and wenfeng that they had to go back because their teacher had something urgent to tell them.

i only remember the me in my dream being extremely sad because I hadn't seen him for a long time (in my dreams). then... i woke up. and realised i had little time to study chem. denG. but i was really exhausted after staying up to study for geog e night before, so i went back to sleep again. and ended up not finishing reading macromolecules. and i totally forgot what it was about. so, as a result, i screwed up chem.

dreams never make sense. although I do admit that the feeling in the dream was so nice. as in, it was so real, as though i was really talking to him. haiX. must really miss him. and actually, we've never really talked about our dreams. (".) denG

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